Taken
by almbookbuyer
Summary: When Sydney and Adrian find out who Jill's captor is, Sydney realizes the only way to get her out is to get herself in. What she doesn't realize, is they're already one step ahead. (Silver Shadows spoilers)
1. Chapter 1

**Discliamer: I do not own Richelle Mead's world or characters.**

Chapter One

Adrian

Jill was missing

First Sydney, now Jill. It had to be the alchemists. They knew where Jill was. They knew how important she was. They knew if Jill went missing, Lissa would be dethroned, and since Lissa had disagreed with the alchemists just yesterday, she wasn't in a great place with them.

Jill was stuck being held for ransom by alchemists, and we were stuck here.

_No you're not. You can leave any time you want. It's Sydney who's stuck here._

I made a face -since Sydney wasn't looking- and thought to my dead aunt's hallucinatory nagging, "I stay with Sydney."

_Why? She has less sanity left than you do. _Aunt Tatiana replied, glib.

She was going ballistic over the whole thing, Sydney not Aunt Tatiana. It took about ten minutes after Rose and everyone left for her to start pacing the living room and pulling at her knotted hair. I suggested breakfast, just to try and get her to calm down a bit, but she shrugged off the idea in an instant.

"I'm not hungry," she said. "How can you be hungry when Jill's gone?"

"I don't know, maybe we should separate ourselves for a second? We can't come up with a solid plan unless we're standing on solid ground."

She turned to me, a hard look on her face, and pointed to the ground. "Seems solid to me. What are we going to do?"

"I think, first, you should sit down."

"When did you become the rational one in this relationship?" she said, crossing her arms.

"When you stopped." I instantly regretted saying it, even before the hard look on her face froze and slackened into a look of grief and morphed into horror.

She sat on the coffee table, despite most of the couch being free, and hugged her arms close to her. "Oh god, I did."

"I didn't mean that," I blurted.

She shook her head. "No, you're right. Adrian, I almost got us killed. Or maybe they would have taken us... They would have taken me back. And they wouldn't have made the mistake of leaving me a way out, even such a necessary one as that. They'd find a way around it. They-" Her voice caught, and she cleared her throat with a cough. I knew it was just to cover up the tears threatening to fall.

I moved to sit beside her, but she looked away, letting her hair fall further into her face.

"Sydney, I could have easily gone against what you said and followed Marcus. I didn't have to listen to you." It wasn't completely true. It was so hard not to give Sydney everything she wanted.

_You're losing yourself to her, _Aunt Tatiana told me. I ignored her, reminding myself to tell Sydney when a good time came.

"I shouldn't have suggested it," she said. "It was stupid."

I didn't know how to respond at first. Thinking back, maybe it was, but I hadn't realized it until she pointed it out. The silence was too long apparently, because she said, "I almost killed us."

"We're not dead!" I exclaimed. "We're not dead. We're not in re-education. We're not even in jail, and that includes moroi jail, human jail, and whatever other jails are out there."

She took a shaky breath, trying to turn it into a laugh at the last second, then straightened. It had been so long since I'd seen her, I'd noticed that she'd looked tired, defeated even, for much of the time we'd been together, but it was only now that I realized why. It was the first time I'd ever seen her slouch. "We need to do what we can from here."

"Sydney, do you want to talk about-"

She turned to me. "No. I want to help Jill."

"We can do both. I mean, we're probably going to have to go find a laptop, right?"

She stood. "I'm fine. I don't want to talk about it."

But her hand's still shook. She tried to hide it by holding tight to her cross with one hand and shoving the other in her pocket, but I'd seen them.

"I won't make you," I said, carefully, "But you can. Anytime."

"I know," she said, her voice having come back to it's normal self. "And we don't even need a laptop yet. We don't have anything to research. What we need is some paper and a pen."

"I have a sketchbook and some charcoal."

"Isn't charcoal messy?"

"I might have some oil paints."

She sighed and went into the bedroom. I stood and followed her in. She was slipping her feet into her shoes. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to go ask for a pen."

"What, my drawing utensils aren't good enough for you?"

"No, they're too good for me. I don't have the skill to do anything with paint, and graphite gets everywhere. I'd get it everywhere."

"And then you wash your hands, and whatever we're doing is done."

"No. Then, we have a smudged list that isn't even useable, and I can't do further research, and we waist however much time it takes."

"Fine. Go get a pen."

She slipped the other shoe on, hesitated, then started looking around. "Um... Where did we put the clothes?"

"Under the bed. Didn't want to unpack, remember?"

She nodded, but didn't give a full response, a telltale sign she either wasn't paying attention or wasn't telling the truth. She pulled a bag from under the bed and unzipped it. Out came the first matching outfit she could find.

"Didn't you do that kind of opposite?" I asked.

"What?" She looked up at me curiously.

"You know, putting on your shoes before the clothes?"

Her head swooped down to the bag and she zipped it again as she spoke. "I forgot I was wearing the same thing I wore yesterday."

"You forgot you were wearing a wedding dress?"

She stood, holding the clothes, and pushed past me into the bathroom. I started to follow her again, but she slammed the door shut before I could.

I waited at the table. When I got bored waiting at the table, I went to the fridge. Of course, there was nothing in it, so I went to the cabinets, found a glass, and ran the tap.

Sydney came out as the cup reached about halfway. She watched me as I finished filling the cup and turned the water off, her expression like when she reads about something historical or scientific: pure curiosity. When I started to put the cup to my lips, she jumped forward. "Wait!"

Her sudden movement made me jump, and I dropped the cup. It shattered on the floor, and glass went everywhere. Sydney stared at the shards with wide eyes.

"God, Sydney," I said automatically, then came up with something more coherent. "What was that about?"

_Great job. Now break another._

"I didn't know you were going to drink it. I didn't know it was going to break. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to break."

"That's okay. Why didn't you want me to drink it?"

She looked back up at me. "It's tap water! It's not purified!"

"Purified?"

"Clean."

"Well, neither is the floor." I stepped over the large area of shattered pieces and avoided the more spread out ones. "Don't move. I'll find a broom."

I looked in the coat closet. It wasn't there. I looked in the linen closet and came up with nothing as well. Frustrated, I decided to go back and check where I'd started: the sink, or, in this case, under the sink, for a small one.

Everything was picked up. A dustpan and small broom were set on the trash next to the counter. Sydney sat on the couch with her knees to her chest. I looked between the empty floor and her. She must have seen my confusion, because she said, "It was under the sink. I did it myself."

"Are you going to go get that pen?"

She paused, looking at the dark TV. "Can you come with me?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Of course. Let me put on shoes."

"You're not going to change?"

"You're the only one that expects me to here." Her and Jill. We still needed to find Jill. That was the point.

She looked back over at me. "Maybe you should change that."

"It's a little late. They've got years of experience with me."

"But you've changed."

I nodded. "Yeah, but there's only so much they can expect so fast."

She tilted her head to the side. "But you've been gone a year. That's plenty enough time to learn a few things, and come back changed. You kind of proved it."

I forgot that she hadn't known. I forgot that I hadn't told her. I didn't know what to do, so I didn't say anything.

She stared, waiting, and when I said nothing, her eyebrows tilted into a rounded triangle that pointed up at her hairline, and she looked down again. Her hair fell into her face. "You were back here?"

What was I supposed to say to that? She sounded so disappointed. I didn't respond.

"You came back here," she repeated, "and you acted like before? That's why no one expects you to have changed."

The tone she used made my stomach feel like I was falling. I wanted assure her that she'd thought wrong, and I knew she wanted me to, but I couldn't lie to her.

She looked up. "You've been worse since I was taken."

"I didn't know what to do..."

Suddenly, she stood and turned to me. Her eyes glistened but glared now. "You mean to say that the second I'm not here, you can't help but go back to being old party boy Adrian? I don't believe that. You still had Jill. You still had Rose and Lissa."

"But you weren't just gone," I said, wishing for understanding. "You were taken by _alchemists_. Not only that, but I couldn't find you. I tried, with spirit."

"I know you did, and I'm grateful, but how did that make you come to court and start partying?"

"My mom brought me to court. She got out of jail and wanted to see me again. Jill set it up without me knowing, and she showed up at my apartment."

"You could have said no."

"I thought it was better. I thought if I was away from there, where we were together, I would be able to think straight. Obviously, I thought wrong. Obviously, that was a mistake. I got sucked up by spirit, and I lost sight of everything."

_No. Don't think negatively of spirit. Spirit gave you me, and don't you want that?_

Between Sydney's unsure look and Aunt Tatiana talking in my head, it suddenly felt overwhelming, all the things I hadn't told her. How would I? Maybe I should now. She was trying to believe spirit was fixed, now I was saying it was still a problem, and she didn't know what to believe.

"Sydney... remember when you asked if the mood swings were gone?" I asked finally.

Her thoughts seemed to halt. I could see it in her face. "Yes."

"That's true. They have, but..." I looked away.

_Don't tell her Adrian. She doesn't need to know._

"But what?"

"But... Aunt Tatiana is back."

She said nothing for a long time, and when I looked up, she was giving me that worried look again, all of her anger gone.

"Sydney, you don't have to get all worried or anything."

"I didn't know. Sorry, I snapped at you." She came over to me and took my hand. "How often is she there?"

_I said, don't tell her! Now you see what you've done? She's going to tell everyone you're crazy._

I flinched a little. Now really wasn't a good time. Sydney's worried frown deepened. "Is she there now?"

"She's always here."

Sydney took a deep breath and stepped closer to me. Her body felt warm against mine. "You need to go back on the pills."

I stepped back. "What? No! What if something happens to you? I won't be able to do anything!"

"Nothing's going to happen," she said. "And even if it did, Sonya can find me. Or Lissa maybe."

"Lissa doesn't know you well enough, and Sonya's not a strong spirit dreamer."

_Very good, Adrian. Don't let her take me from you._

"Adrian, please? Promise me."

"I'll think about it."

She didn't seem to like this answer, but it was the closest to the right one I could give her. "Let's go get that pen."

She closed her eyes and said nothing. It was only a tiny moment of hesitation, but I could feel the intense moment in the air. I was trying not to think about it, because one of us had to be rational, but feeling all of this pouring off her was starting to make me remember why it was there again.

_Don't pretend to be okay. That's lying._

"Like you care about my morals," I thought.

_You don't have to pretend with me._

"Okay," Sydney said. "Let's go."

She went through the door, not letting her hand linger longer than it needed to, not holding it a second longer so I could grab it or looking back to see if I was coming.

I pulled the handle right before it clicked shut and followed after her quickly, trying to remember if I had the room key. I'd put it in my pocket last night. Did I have it now? I checked, and luckily it hadn't fallen out while I had slept.

Sydney turned a corner and I hurried to follow before I lost her in here. I was surprised she knew where she was going. I'd been here a few times, and had explored a bit, but I thought this was only Sydney's second time.

By the time I reached the desk, the woman there was already handing her a key. When she saw me, she smiled politely. "Hello again. Do you need something?"

"Uh, no. I'm with her."

"C'mon," Sydney said, starting up the stairs. I thought of something and turned back to the woman.

"Actually, do you have an lined paper? We only have blank upstairs."

She nodded and opened a draw. Her voice echoed lightly as she sifted through. "Writing a shopping list?"

"Yeah. We've got no food."

"There's a lovely restaurant just a few doors down, but-" She pulled the yellow legal pad out. "But I guess you know that."

"Yeah. Thanks though." I took the pad."Do you need it back?"

She waved me off. "Nope. I hoard them."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I just thanked her again and went upstairs.

Sydney was waiting at the door without a key.

**a/n: Hey guys! I'm super excited to be working on this new story, and I let me tell you, there is some intense stuff that's going to go down! ****Also, for you few faithful people excited for TT: Silver Shadows, it's coming soon! Working on chapter one!**

**I'd love it if you guys followed or faved this stories, and I always love reading your comments! Already working on chapter two, so see you then!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Richelle Mead's world or characters.**

Chapter Two

Sydney

We spent twelve minutes making a list of the things that may have happened. But we only ended up with one lead in the end. One lead, and a paper full of scribbled out options.

There were the alchemists, which were an obvious choice. I almost felt like they had to be too obvious, but I couldn't think of anything else. Who else knew where we were and knew how important Jill was?

Normally, I would think they would come directly for me, or at the very least, Adrian. But they knew I loved all my friends, and Jill was important to me _and _the moroi in general. It was a huge move for them.

"Don't you think it's a little too big?" I said, staring at the paper. "I mean, don't you think they'd try something a little more subtle first?"

He sat back down. "Well, you're the former alchemist, but they are going against a society that must be secret, which means they can be bold, and we can't exactly be loud back. Or at all for that matter. They're the ones keeping us secret. And they're going against two people who ran through Las Vegas in their wedding clothes... and almost set four people on fire."

"I wouldn't have done it."

"i never said you would have. I'm just saying, they don't know that. After that show with the fountain, I don't think they know what you'd do."

It made sense, but for all I knew, we were both being irrational. We were bias, and we were both a lot more unstable than I'd like us to be. I'd have to look at this as logically as possible.

I ran through what they might want out of this.

Lissa dethroned. This would give them a chance to find someone they can agree with, or maybe they'd do something more drastic. Either way, it'd work for them. Plus, they'd get me back.

They wanted to use her as ransom to lure me out of here. This was less likely as they didn't really know how close I was with her, but if this was the reason, they'd guessed really well. But in that case, I'd get a ransom note of some kind.

It wasn't the alchemists at all. This was the answer I was scared of.

"What are you thinking?" Adrian asked.

"I'm just running through options. Maybe if I asses all the options as objectively as possible, some of them will cancel themselves out."

"Do you want to do this over some pancakes or something?"

I shook my head. I really didn't feel hungry. Food didn't seem like an appetizing idea in the least. "No."

"Please? At least come with me. I need something"

I kept staring at the legal pad as he stood, taking notice of a few rips from scribbling so much. Yellow paper of this texture and weight couldn't handle anything, could it.

"Sydney?"

"Fine, but I'm taking the pad and pen."

I stood from the kitchen chair, then turned to him. "Wait, where has your mom been all morning?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Probably out explaining the situation and making herself look like a victim. She'll be back for dinner."

Dinner seemed so far away. And I realized Jill likely would still be gone. It was already ten. We'd wasted time.

"Okay, let's go."

He nodded and held the door open for me. I realized I hadn't held it for him earlier. I usually did. I'd forgotten.

The little restaurant had mahogany tabletops and leather booths. I'd never had to wonder before if booth leather was real or not, but this was the royal court. I was actually leaning toward real.

"What do you want?" Adrian asked, lifting the menu.

"What?" I let the pen hover over the pad as if I was about to write something, despite having come up with nothing new.

"Have you looked at the menu yet? What do you want?"

"Nothing."

"Can you please get something? It would make _me _less worried."

He put down the menu so he could give me puppy dog eyes, and I shook my head. "Fine."

"Great! What do you want?"

I slid a menu over to my side of the booth and opened it up on top of the pad. The only thing I thought I could make it through was coffee, so when the waitress came, a tall dhampir girl with died blonde hair and thick, black eyelashes, I told her that. After Adrian ordered of course.

"Is that all for now?"

"Yes," I said before Adrian could answer. This was why I wanted to order after him.

She rushed away. I watched her push her way into the kitchen before looking back to Adrian, who's eyes were slitted. "You said you'd get something."

"I did," I told him innocently and directed my attention back to the task at hand.

"I didn't mean coffee."

"It's something, isn't it?"

"You can have half my omelet."

I waved him off and went back to staring at the yellow paper.

"I can't think of another option, only the alchemists. There's nothing else that could have happened? It still seems like a pretty big move."

"I don't know how some humans would have gotten in and taken her without Angeline noticing, but- Wait... There was someone looking for us."

I looked up, fast enough that anyone watching would have known he'd said something shocking, even if they didn't know what he'd said. "What? When? Who?"

"I don't know who. Trey said she showed up at our apartment."

"Wait... Why was Trey at your apartment?" He and Adrian had never had problems, but they'd never been immensely close either.

"Oh. Money ran out on the dorms, since his family stopped paying, but tuition was payed for the full year. He's been there since they kicked him out."

"And who showed up?"

"I don't know. He said some blonde with glasses showed up asking for us."

"Both of us? When was this again?"

"While you were still in re-education."

I flinched at the name, remembering that place all over again. A flash of guilt lit Adrian's features. "Did she have a lily?"

"No."

I tried to think who that would be. Not an alchemist. A blond with glasses... I could only think of two blonds and neither wore glasses. Carly, who clearly would not be wearing a disguise, and Alicia, who would definitely have a huge grudge to take out on us. Specifically me.

"Adrian... There _is _another option."

"Really? What?"

"Alicia."

He blinked once, twice, then a third time before speaking.

"How?"

"They never found her body."

The waitress came back with our orders then. A crooked smile on her face, made more crooked by crooked teeth.

"Here you are!" She put the huge omelet and Orange Juice in front of Adrian and the coffee in front of me. "If you need anything else, don't hesitate to call me over."

"Of course," Adrian said in a smooth, relaxed tone as if he didn't just find out Jill may be in the clutches of the second person I would ever consider my enemy. The first was Keith. The third is Sheridan. I never thought I'd have so many enemies. "Actually," he said, "Can we get an extra plate?"

"Sure. Give me one second."

The waitress tapped his collarbone as she left. I watched her go to the next table.

"Don't give her that look like she's some sort of perv," Adrian said, starting to cut his omelet down the middle. "You don't have to be worried about me, obviously, and if that's her try at flirting, then she's got a lot to learn anyway."

He finished cutting the omelet into two but didn't eat any yet. He sipped his orange juice slowly while I watched him.

"What are we going to do if it is Alicia?" I said.

"Last time you took her on, you were way less experienced. I bet if you had tried that roof thing then, you would have passed out."

"I almost did. I thought I was going to. If she hadn't given in, she probably would have- And Alicia knows about that kind of weakness."

"But you're smart. She's relying on her magic as a crutch. You probably match her magic wise, and you can strategize. Anyway, we're not even sure it is Alicia."

But it made sense. She shouldn't know where Adrian lives, but it wouldn't be hard to follow us, and if she'd done that, it wouldn't be hard to figure out more. Plus, she would definitely take a drastic move like this. She might not even know the full implications. For all I knew, she might not know about the moroi at all.

Which would mean Jill was in a lot of trouble.

"How long does it take before a moroi feels the effects of getting too little blood?" I asked.

"Not sure exactly. A little more than a week? I think Rose would know. She's kind of seen it before."

"Why?"

"Long story." He waved it off. "Run in with some pretty cruel strigoi, but hey, aren't they all cruel?"

"Yeah." My face contorted. "I remember."

"But you threw fire at it, and everything worked out. They couldn't exactly do that... though I don't know why. Christian was with them." He thought about it. "They probably told me, and I just don't remember."

"Who else was with them?"

"Mia, Eddie, and Mason."

"The elusive Mason?"

"The dead Mason."

I'd known that. I nodded. He nodded in response.

The waitress came back with another plate and placed it on the table. "There you go. Tell me if you need anything else." She directed it mostly at Adrian.

"Will do," he said, but didn't look at her. "Thanks."

She frowned and walked off. He tried to lift the omelet from his plate with the fork.

"I think you just hurt her feelings," I said.

"Well, she won't get any ideas now."

"Yeah, but... It just seemed like she felt hurt."

"She won't get any ideas," he repeated and got the omelet lifted at an odd angle. He quickly transferred it to the other plate. "There you go."

"It's yours."

"I'm hungry. I'm not a bear."

"It's not a bear sized portion."

"Then you shouldn't have trouble with half of it." He slid the plate over to me. The glass scraped against the mahogany loudly. I shrank in my seat. People in the booths around us probably could hear this. What if they looked over? Eating alone in our room was one thing. Here though?

"We should have brought Hopper," I said, remembering we left him in our room.

"So you could feed him? I'll get a doggy bag."

"This isn't important right now." What was important was the coffee. I took a sip. It was black, and right then I didn't care.

The aroma alone was intoxicating. As soon as it touched my lips, I felt my shoulders relax. _This _was what I needed. Sadly, I had to make myself pull the mug away, so I could speak. I didn't put it down though.

"How do you think we approach finding out who it is?" I said. I was much more satisfied now, having two options.

He took a bite of his omelet and said, "If it's Alicia, her goal is you. She'd find you, and tell you how to get Jill back."

"And the alchemists would probably contact Lissa, so we just... wait?"

He swallowed. "I don't like it either, but it sounds like it makes the most sense."

"And what will we do? After that I mean." I couldn't _just _wait. There had to be something we could be planning out or getting ready.

His face had gone dark. "Whatever we have to. We have to get her back."

**a/n: Thanks everyone for all the love I got out of the last chapter! I'm introducing a review corner to my stories now, so I can give you all love back :)**

**DG and Reed: You so called it! I saw your comment and went "Aw! The twist is ruined!" :)**

**Rosel: Thanks! I hope this chapter intrigued you further!**

**Spaztronaut: Are you sure that's what you need to worry about? *evil laugh***


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Richelle Mead's world or characters.**

Chapter Three

Adrian

My mom was back at the apartment when we got back. She sat on the couch with her legs crossed tightly. The TV was turned on to some sort of infomercial. I always hated those things.

"Adrian!" she said, excitedly. "Where did you two head off to?"

"Breakfast," I said.

She frowned. "Oh. I suppose that's fine. I was hoping to invite you both to brunch with a few friends."

Sydney, holding the legal pad with a grip firm as one of those tightening tool things I remembered her using when she'd replaced a tire once, straightened. "Thank you ma'am, but we were working on something very important."

"Oh." My mother seemed amused. "What would that be?"

"We can't say," I told her, "Queen's business. Where were you this morning?"

She waved it off. "Explaining. We've got to put our side of the story out there before others taint it, now don't we?"

_Yes. Tell them you aren't really married to the girl. You'll be able to live freely with spirit!_

I told Aunt Tatiana to shut up. Not that she would actually ever listen.

"Ma'am-"

"Oh, dear, call me Daniella." Anything she directed at Sydney sounded much more fake to me. I knew she was trying, but it must be hard for her to be so... accepting. My mom had never been a very open person. Every little thing could affect her appearance. And she had to keep this appearance pristine.

"Daniella," Sydney said, "Is there any way we could make it up to you? Maybe dinner tonight?"

"Of course!" she said. "There's a wonderful place nearby."

"Maybe we could eat in?" Sydney offered, timid.

Mom frowned. I doubted she knew how to turn a stove on, let alone cook on it. Nor did I. Before she could refuse though, I remembered Sydney's nervous glances at the surrounding tables with each slow bite of the omelet and turned to her. "Do you know any good recipes?"

She looked a little flustered. "I -uh- I can make a salad." No, of course she wouldn't know how to cook. She wasn't exactly a food lover.

"And I can make pasta!" I said. I couldn't. I turned back to my mom. "Pasta, salad, and isn't there a bakery somewhere around here?"

Mom perked up a bit at the thought of her favorite place. "Yes! They make wonderful sesame seed bread."

"Then dinner is settled," I said and went into the bedroom. It took a second, but I heard Sydney follow me in a bit later I went to the bag she'd opened earlier and started pulling stuff out. We might as well unpack while we're waiting.

"Are you okay?" I jumped at the voice. It wasn't Sydney's. I turned, and my mom had sat at the end of the bed. Usually so prim and proper, she was slouched forward to meet my eyes.

"Yeah," I said. It was sort of automatic to tell her this.

"Can you... explain? How do you know her?"

I frowned. "Is there something wrong with her?"

"No, no... I just don't know if I understand. You told me about a girl. Is this her?"

I nodded. "You see why I couldn't tell you the whole story now, right?"

Her mouth stretched into an almost smile, and she tilted her head to the side. "You seemed happy with that moroi girl. What was her name? Nina."

"Nina? We're friends. And I wasn't happy."

"You seemed happy."

"Well, acting runs in the family."

She slid off the bed, knelt beside me, and started to pull clothes from the bag, folding them as she went. I couldn't remember her ever cleaning before. We'd always had people to do that for us. "Adrian, I want us to be close, but you have to talk too."

"The request is mutual."

_But no one ever listens. I'm the only one left, Adrian._

She placed a folded teal shirt beside her on the carpet. "So you want me to talk first? I thought I already had, but I suppose I can. What do you need to know?"

"Do you really like Sydney?"

She sighed and picked up another shirt. "I don't understand you, Adrian. Everything you do is right until you stop and move on. So, honestly, I don't know. Maybe she isn't the one, and you just put everything on the line for her. She seems young... innocent even. But she clearly has a lot of baggage. I guess we'll just see."

"But do you like _her_. Not us. _Her._"

"As a person?"

I nodded.

"She's very polite. I don't know much else, but she's certainly much more polite than any girl you've brought home before."

I smiled a little at that. "Yeah, because the only other girl I brought home was Rose, and she isn't exactly... contained."

"But Sydney left you. She came back, obviously, but she was gone. And I hate seeing you so down."

I'd forgotten she still thought that. "That's more complicated than you know."

"Alright. Your turn."

"What do you want to know?" I stood to put the folded clothes in the dresser. Mom's eyes followed me there.

She thought about it a moment, then said, "Why did she leave you?"

"She didn't," I said as soon as the question finished. "Her sister found out about us, and alchemists don't exactly like human and moroi to be together. She told their dad, and their dad took her to a really horrible place."

"How horrible?"

"Well to put it into perspective, He's worse than Dad on a good day. In fact, even his rewards seemed like punishments. Re-education was pretty much a traumatic torture session for almost four months."

"Four months?" She sounded surprised. I looked over. She seemed to be remembering something. She was probably thinking it was a lot like jail.

"Four months of torture so bad she won't talk about it, but I can tell it was bad. She's having nightmares. She's overwhelmed. I mean, when we went in after her, they had basically been keeping her awake for almost two weeks. She could barely walk."

Mom shook her head. "You're not ."

"No."

"She seems very put together to have gone through something like that."

"Yeah." I came back over to the bag and unzipped another pocket.

"Can I ask you something else?"

"I thought it was my turn." I smiled at her.

"Fine. What?"

"What was jail like?"

She blinked. "I thought we weren't going to talk about that."

"I thought you wanted to be close with me."

"Adrian, you have to understand... I don't want to talk about these things."

"Please, Mom?" I tried to meet her eyes, but she was looking away. "I just want to know what you went through."

She closed her eyes. "Cold. Dank. Everything stunk. Dirty." I waited for her to say more, and almost asked for her question, but she continued. "I wanted so badly to talk to you, but I didn't feel like a mom."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm supposed to take care of you, but there you were, broken. You'd finally figured out what it was, and you didn't want to fix it. And I couldn't do anything. And now, then, I'd been taken away from you. I couldn't even do the little things. I couldn't even see you."

"I tried to pull you into a spirit dream."

"That's the thing though. It was you. You contacted me. You kept sending messages to me. You wanted to see me. But I was stuck. I couldn't do the same." I thought about that. I guess it was sort of a role reverse. "Is it my turn yet?"

"Sure."

"Do you still love me?"

I was shocked at the question. "Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?"

"You were angry before," she clasped her hands together in her lap so tight her knuckles went white. "You wouldn't talk to me. You wouldn't let me in."

"I still loved you, but you just wanted to be pathetic and pretend to love Dad so that you could be comfortable. I couldn't stand seeing that. I'm not angry anymore."

"I don't know how much I can be truly honest about," she admitted.

"You're doing it now."

"Yes, but it's different out there." She motioned to the window. "Out there, they want me to be _the _Daniella Ivashkov. Not some peasant, divorced woman who had to move in with her own son to keep a roof over her head."

_The _Daniella Ivashkov. I suddenly understood. Because I'd inherited this thinking. I was _the _Adrian Ivashkov. Everyone knew exactly what I was like, and I used to pretended to always be that. Not because I wanted to, though sometimes I did, but because that's what they wanted. It got a better reaction than what I'd ever gotten for being myself.

I sighed. "Mom... If I can stop being _the _Adrian Ivashkov, can you stop being _the _Daniella."

She laughed a little, but it was quite and guttural, almost like a noise of an amusing image in your mind. "What does _the _Adrian look like?"

"Like what you've seen."

"And what does just Adrian look like?"

I thought about that, and finally held up my hand, the hand with the wedding band. "The person I am."

Someone, Sydney, rapped on the door. "Adrian?"

Mom averted her eyes and stood. "We're done, dear. Come in."

Sydney opened the door. "Sorry. I hope I didn't interrupt."

"No, no," Mom said, "Really, we were done."

She looked to me, and I nodded. She looked back to my mom. "Lissa wants us to come to the palace."

She does?

Mom smiles. "Well then, you have work to do. What time are we having dinner?"

"Six," I told her.

"Be on time," she said. "You make the time, you must stick to it."

"I'm well aware."

I followed Sydney as she hurried out into the hall, checking my pocket once again for a room key. "How do you know Lissa wants us?"

"I don't, but I want to talk to Eddie, Neil, and Angeline. We don't have a laptop."

"Oh. I think Nina has one."

"Nina?" Sydney looked back at me. "The spirit user girl? Why is she here?"

"Helping Sonya out. I guess we could ask her, but she's on a weird schedule. No way to know if she's sleeping or not, and I don't really want to wake her up."

"Why is asking Nina better than asking Lissa or Rose?"

I ran my fingers through my hair, making it slightly more messy on top. "Because Nina won't say no."

Nina wasn't home.

We knocked a few times, waited a while, knocked again, and waited again. Nothing.

I thought maybe she was at work. It made sense. It was the right time of day for that, but when we got to the palace, she wasn't. Of all people, Dimitri Belikov sat at the receptionist desk.

"Dimitri!" I said, feigning shock. "Been demoted?"

He laughed and closed his book around his finger. "No. The girl called in. Said she had an appointment of some kind."

"Did she specify?" I asked. What kind of appointment could that be? I couldn't recall her mentioning anything.

He shook his head. "No. What do you need?"

Sydney stepped forward. "We were wondering if we could talk to Rose or Lissa."

"Actually," I said, taking a better look at the desk. "Would it be possible to borrow that laptop for a few minutes?"

Dimitri frowned. "What do you need it for."

Sydney looked to me. "We should tell Lissa."

"Lissa's a little busy."

"And we're supposed to be helping."

Dimitri cleared his throat. "What are you helping with?"

Before I could respond, Sydney did. "We have a lead."

Dimitri looked surprised but knew exactly what she was talking about. "Come on in here." He stood and started to lead us toward Lissa's private area of the building. We may either get answers, or we may get turned away.

Considering how much I'd asked of Lissa lately, I was betting on the latter.

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**V.K. Here! I've written it! I hope you liked it :)**

**rainy: No, of course they won't! I never said they would... *evil smile***

**DG and Reed: Did we ever doubt him? Also, stop predicting things so perfectly! lol, you guessed it again! I need a better twist... oh wait! I'm already working on it! And thanks so much for the compliment! You legitimately made me tear up :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Richelle Mead's world or characters.**

Chapter Four

Sydney

I didn't know where we were going until Dimitri knocked on the door. Lissa clearly wasn't expecting us when she opened the door in a long t-shirt and bare feet. Her hair was mussed, and though her eyes were tired, they were also alert.

"Adrian? Sydney? What are you doing here?"

I hadn't expected this sort of casual conversation with the queen of all moroi and dhampirs. As nice as she seemed, it still flustered me.

Adrian cut in for me. "We have a lead."

She narrowed her eyes. "I have people on the job."

"We actually have two, but I think Sydney's leaning more towards one than the other."

"We're already looking into the alchemists if that's your lead."

"It's not," I said. In this situation, I wasn't sure if I should end it with _ma'am_ or _your majesty _or anything at all. So I just left it.

She sighed. "Alright. Who is it?"

"You wouldn't know her," Adrian said.

"Her name's Alicia. She's a human magic user who I'd thought I'd taken care of a while ago, but her body hadn't ever been found in the fire."

Lissa stared for a long time. Shook her head and put her fingers against her forehead. "I swear... You know what, fine. Come in. Explain."

She opened the door wider, stepping out of the way as she did, and thrust her arm out toward the bedroom. I didn't know we'd be coming to her actual private bedroom... that was almost creepy. Especially since Christian was standing next to the unmade bed looking mortified with his shirt on backwards. I decided not to mention it.

"Okay," Lissa said, sitting at the end of the bed. "Explain."

I took a breath. "Well, first of all, do you know about human magic?"

"No."

Christian was pulling his shirt off behind Lissa, and struggling in quite an amusing way. It was distracting me as I spoke. "Well, humans can use magic just as moroi do... well kind of. You know what witches are, right?"

Just then, I heard footsteps behind me, fast ones. I turned so fast I knocked my elbow into Adrian who grunted and jumped backwards into Dimitri. Rose stood in the door holding two bubbly waters, arms crossed over her low-cut tank top, mouth slightly tilted. "Okay, I knew you had another reason for asking for strawberry bubbly water, but I thought it had more to do with each other than politics."

Lissa sighed. "It did. Can I have one?"

Rose tossed it to her, and Lissa almost caught it, but it slipped her grasp and fell loudly against the floor, making me flinch. Why was I so jumpy? I needed to calm down.

Adrian took my hand, as if he'd read my mind.

Lissa took the water again and opened it. It fizzed loudly, almost bubbling over. "Sorry. Go ahead. What were you saying?"

"Witches. You know what witches are. Right?"

She nodded.

"It's basically that. Spells and things. I mean, it's more of a wiccan style witch than a pointy hat type, but you get the picture. Right?"

Rose wrinkled her nose. "What are you talking about?"

"Human magic."

Her eyes widened. "_Human _magic?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Humans can't do magic."

Adrian laughed. "Try telling Sheridan's minions that. Sydney was half a foot away from burning them."

Chrisitian, through a yawn, said, "A human _fire _user? Awesome! Are you serious?"

"I'd show you if we weren't inside."  
"Is there anything you can show us inside?" Lissa asked.

I tried to think about what would be the most impressive, and turned to Dimitri, who stood in front of the door. "Can I get by?"

Confused, he nodded and side stepped out of the way.

"No one come out for a second. Leave the door open. Don't peek or it's ruined."

Everyone seemed very confused but muttered various forms of "yes" and "sure". In the hall, I murmured the incantation and felt the magic run through me.

Carefully, so as not to be loud, I walked back into the room. On any other occasion, I would have let them see me again in the middle of the carpet, but I couldn't help it. I went behind Rose.

"Rose, turn around," I said.

She spun and saw me. "How did you get there?"

"Invisibility spell. Technically, it's still on, but now you guys know I'm here."

"Well," Lissa said, "That's a whole new level of things guardians should know."

"That's just a simple spell," I said with a wave of my hand. "Not too hard. Doesn't last that long. It doesn't work if someone looks you straight in the eye either. I can do more complicated spells. So can Alicia."

Lissa was taking me more seriously now. "Like?"

"Well, as Adrian said, fire. Any of the main four elements really. Some cloaking spells like this. Defensive spells. Offensive spells. There's darker, more sinister, spells that I haven't learned purely because I don't want to do the things they entail, but I doubt Alicia would have those qualms."

Adrian snorted. "After what she did? No."

"Why do you think it's her?" Dimitri asked. "How is she more likely than the alchemists."

"Because the alchemists likely wouldn't make such a drastic move so early. It's impractical. But Alicia probably only knows Jill as knowing me. Not as being the important person she is. It wouldn't seem as drastic a move."

"But if she only knows Jill for knowing you," Rose said, "She wouldn't know Jill was moroi. Right?"

I nodded. "Right. Which is why we need to find out who it is quickly. Because if it is Alicia, Jill doesn't have much time."

This made the room silent, and I took the opportunity to move out from behind Rose. The spell was still going, but it would wear off soon.

"How do you expect to figure out who has her?" Lissa said, finally.

"Well, normally I'd go there and look myself for any hints of someone having been there, especially magic specific, but since I can't do that, I was hoping to get a hold of Eddie, Neil, and Angeline. Also Jaclyn Terwilliger. She's my magic mentor and could easily sense lingering magic in the room, although I don't know if it would be there since I don't know exactly what spell Alicia would have used."

"So you came to ask if you could use royal skype?" Christian seemed amused at the idea.

"No," I said. "Well, yeah. Kind of, but only because Nina wasn't at home and we didn't want to wake Sonya."

Lissa stood and went to her desk. The wide, flat drawer opened, and she pulled out her thin, white laptop. "Here. But don't touch the files."

"Why?" Adrian asked with a sideways smile. "Have you two been taking pictures?"

"Shut up," she said and handed the laptop to me. "Don't let him touch the files."

I nodded and asked, "Where should we use this? I wouldn't want to take it too far away. Just in case."

"Dimitri, can you take them to a guest room? There's a desk in each one."

"Of course."

Like before, we followed him. In a nearby guestroom, I opened Lissa's laptop on the desk. Her screen saver was -of all things- a blurry picture of Christian and her. It was clearly taken by a cell phone camera, and showed them in a mostly dark room, holding each other's shoulders. She was kissing him on the cheek. A candle was lit behind them.

"I think I know why we can't look at the files," Adrian said.

"I think we're thinking different things."

"What are you thinking?"

"Well, she's the queen. There's obviously stuff on here we aren't allowed to know. Just because we know her, that doesn't authorize us to look at top secret information."

"Or they're having fun with her camera."

I shot him a look. "Adrian, be serious."

He gave me an innocent look. "I am. That's what I think."

I rolled my eyes and opened skype. We were in her account, so I started to log out, then Adrian said, "Wow! Look! She's been skyping Abe Mazure?"

"Stop snooping." I logged out and logged into my own account. When he saw my own list of friends, he leaned closer.

"You too?"

"The Zmey has many contacts."

"And you've done enough favors for him. Unfriend him."

"No. We might need him. For Jill." I clicked on Eddie. Offline. Neil was offline. Angeline was offline. I made a noise somewhere between a frustrated "Oh" and a growl.

"Well," Adrian said, "That should have been expected." He turned to the closed door."Dimitri, I know your out there listening. Can you come in for a second?"

There was a moment of silence, and I almost cracked a joke that maybe he was just paranoid, but Dimitri came in then. "What is it that you need?"

"You have your phone on you, right?"

He nodded.

"Can you text Eddie, and tell him we're trying to skype them. It's important."

He nodded again and pulled out his cell phone. "Should I use Sydney's name in the text message?"

I thought about it and said, "No. The alchemists will find it. Just say Adrian. They'll still answer."

It was awkward waiting. It had been a long time since I'd seen Guardian Belikov, and it was strange to see him now. Adrian seemed itching to go through Lissa's private things, which was plain stupid, and I just wanted to get a hold of the gang before anything worse happened.

Dimitri's phone buzzed and he opened the text. "He says he'll gather the others and get online. Wait for him."

"Okay," Adrian said. "I guess we just wait."

There was a lot of that lately, and I didn't like it. It made me feel jittery and useless to wait. I had to _do _something. I had to fix it. I had to get Jill back.

Adrian took my hand. "It's not your fault."

"But it kind of is," I said. "Eddie left to save me. She was helping us, which told whoever it was how close we'd been. If it isn't who we think, and some crazy asassins took her, it would have been easy to track her contact with us. We made it so easy for this to happen."

Dimitri sat on the bed. It creaked. "If Jill contacted you, helped you, then that was her decision. Maybe it wasn't a wonderful decision, but it was one she made. It may have been for you, but do you doubt that she would have done it for anyone else?"

I shook my head. No. Certainly, Jill would have done anything for any of her friends or family. She's just that type of person. She didn't care if it endangered her. And she was smart. She probably _did _know the risks beforehand.

The gray dot beside Eddie's name turned green and the laptop started letting out a series of melodious boops.

Adrian clicked answer and Eddie, Angeline, and Neil appeared on screen in a thinly framed window.

"Sydney!" Angeline said, as loud as ever. I smiled a little at her. I hadn't seen her in almost four months. She was relieved to see me, I could tell, but there was a lingering sadness in her eyes. No one wondered what that was from. We all likely had it.

"Hi," I said to them.

"What's going on?" Eddie said as his hello. "What did you find out?"

"Well," I said, "I didn't find anything out, but I do have theories. Everyone's saying there was nothing left as evidence in your room, Angeline. Is that true?"

All the excitement drained from her face, along with it's color. "Nothing."

"Did anyone test for fingerprints?"

"I don't know how to do that."

Dimitri cut in, "Someone is supposed to be there today."

Of all the things, they didn't know how to do that? "No one taught you how to take fingerprints?"

"No." Eddie looked to Neil. "You?"

He shook his head.

"I thought everyone knew how," I said. "It's simply a matter of finding a dark, smooth paper -which you could probably find in the copying room in the main building, some clear tape, and some baby powder."

"That's it?" Eddie said.

"How do you know that?" It was the first thing Adrian had said since answering the call.

"I thought everyone knew that."

"Well, no," Neil said. "That's one thing no one learned."

"Yeah. I guess I just assumed it had been done. If someone's coming they can do a less obtrusive method though, and that would be a much better option, so I suppose you should just leave it for now. Does Ms. Terwilliger know?"

"No," Angeline said. "Why?"

"I told her," Eddie said. "When I was telling her what had happened with you, I told her about Jill too."

"Has she been in there?"

"No. Angeline can't even be in there today."

I sighed. Perfect. "She needs to get in there, but I need to talk to her first."

"Why do you need to talk to Ms. Terwilliger?" Angeline asked.

I looked to Adrian. He shrugged. "It never came up."

Angeline was thoroughly confused. "What's going on? Are you all hiding something?"

"We'll explain," Neil said. "You get in contact with Ms. Terwilliger. We'll get as much information about what happened as possible."

The call ended. Adrian snorted. "I feel like someone should have at least said 'disperse' or something."

**Thanks everyone for all the favorites and follows! They mean a lot. This story already has more than 400 views! I really hope you guys stick around. This is only the beginning ):D (Does that look like an evil smile? I hope it does...)**

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**Guest: "I love how Sydney is a mess at the moment" Oh, person... We all do. :P Poor her though... Also, please -if you review again- could you leave some sort of a name so I can more properly label the answer? If another 'guest' shows up, I won't know who's who! :)**

**DG and Reed: I've been calling them Marly! We need to get that going! I've been shipping them ever since TFH actually, but I didn't come up with a ship name until right before SS came out. I'm hoping to write a fic about them too. (Maybe a one shot since I've got two going right now...) But they are TOTALLY going to be involved. I need to get more people on this ship!**

**Nira Avalon: Thanks so much! I'm glad you're liking it :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Richelle Mead's world or characters.**

Chapter Five

Adrian

The skype call may have been successful, but I still had to learn to cook spaghetti and find Jill. Why was Jill second on that list? Well, I definitely wanted to find her as fast as possible, but the spaghetti was an easier problem to solve.

So I went to the store, leaving Sydney with Lissa's laptop to attempt to contact Ms. Terwilliger, and found myself holding a long blue box with dry noodles inside. And I, Adrian Ivashkov, breaker of rules for no reason and man who used to claim would never do manual labor, read the directions.

It was kind of humilifying, like I was giving in or something. I mean, I wasn't. I was just... cooking. But I couldn't remember when the transition had happened between being sour over losing all the help a spoiled brat could buy and not caring about having to make his own meal. Okay, I kind of cared still, but it wasn't because I had to do it. It was more because I knew I was bad at it, and we would now have to eat the results.

My mom, I supposed, was probably going to be the same way. That meant poor Sydney was going to have to deal with two newly middle class citizens in one year, both of the Ivashkov household. And this time, we'd have to handle it while in a crisis. Perfect.

How do these dry things turn into flexable noodles anyway? It had to be some sort of scientific thing I couldn't ever understand, but really, why were they so hard? Did they freeze dry them or something like they did with space food? No matter what, the sound they made at least made them more fun to carry around. That, I was doing a lot of. I had to a walk back to our suite.

When I got back to the apartment, my mom was gone. Sydney was still at the palace. I was going to make sure we had everything I needed. I searched the kitchen until I found a pot, inspected the stove to make sure I knew how it worked, and I read the directions again. It felt like I was forgetting something.

Realizing, finally, I sighed and left again. I'd forgotten _two _things. Marinara sauce and mazzeralla cheese.

I entered the palace an hour after I'd left to find Dimitri back at the desk. He looked up when I came in. "Hello, Adrian."

"Hey. Is Sydney still in there?"

He nodded. "She told me she'd rather talk to her mentor on her own. Maybe you should stay out here?"

I shook my head. "If she kicks me out, fine, but I'm going to go in there and hear it from her."

Lissa's door was open when I walked by. She was sitting cross-legged on the floor with a huge textbook on her lap. Christian was laying on the bed. He and Rose, who was sitting at the desk, tossed a pair of folded socks back and forth halfheartedly. Rose glanced up and saw me but didn't bother to acknowledge my being there, just continued her rambling about Lissa not needing to study after she'd already taken the finals.

I opened the door that we'd been lead into before and found nothing but an empty room. I frowned. This was where we'd been, right?

I closed the door again and went to the next one. Maybe I'd counted wrong, but that one -all of them actually- were empty.

"Lissa?" I said, poking my head in. "Did you see Sydney?"

"Yeah," she said, not looking up from the book. "She gave the laptop back a good five minutes ago."

"Five minutes?" Christian groaned. "That _can't _be right."

"Ugh!" Rose said, "Why do you need to study anyway? You already _did _finals!"

Lissa started to respond, but I didn't hear what she said, I was going back to Dimitri. "Lissa says Sydney gave the laptop back already. Did she go past?"

He looked confused. "No."

Rose came out behind me. I knew it was her before she spoke. I recognised the weight of her footsteps. "She's gone?"

"I don't know," I said. "She's not in any of the guest rooms in this hallway."

"What about the bathrooms?" Rose was already moving to check. "I'll check. There's no reason for her to have left through the side entrance, right?"

"Not that I can think of."

Rose was already gone. I turned to Dimitri with raised hands. He just shook his head. "My Roza can be a bit anxious sometimes, but I'll definitely check with the guardian at the side entrance. I'm sure she's right under our noses."

I nodded. "Yeah, right." But I wasn't sure I believed the words. I sure wanted to, but this _was _Sydney: magic using, able-to-turn-invisible, actively searched for by alchemists. In fact, she was the most wanted rebel alchemist ever. Topping Marcus took a lot, but she'd done it. "I'll check the main part of the building?"

"Good."

"Should I tell Lissa and Christian?"

"It's not necessary, but I don't see it doing any harm."

I was halfway to the main part of the building though. "Okay. Just..." I'd almost said text me when you find her, but I didn't have my phone on me. "Just meet back here in ten minutes."

I had left for one hour, and she'd disappeared.

It had been what seemed like years since I'd walked around the palace. I'd been in some places recently: Lissa's room and den, some of the main places used for meetings and things. But I'd always had some sort of a purpous. It wasn't that I didn't have one now, but I was alone. And that meant there was room for thought to sneak in.

And I heard a voice I hadn't heard in a little over an hour.

_Remember when you were little, and I brought you down here?_

I did. I refused to respond though.

_My Adrian, why do you alienate me? This is a peaceful memory, yes? I just don't want you to forget me. It seems like you are lately._

I shook my head almost violently. "Will you just shut up?"

"I haven't spoken."

I spun around. My mom was standing behind me. "Why are you here?"

"Who were you talking to?" She didn't look concerned as I'd feared. She looked confused. My mom also wasn't looking at me, but around, as if she'd see someone that she knew wasn't there.

"Just myself," I said, as if that was normal.

"Okay..." She looked back to me, still unsure.

"What are you doing here?" I asked again. Maybe if I went to a topic more normal, she'd forget about this, and I wouldn't have to tell her about...

"You said you were going to help Queen Vasalisa, so I thought you'd be here. I haven't been here in a very long time..."

It was eerily similar. They were both taking walks down memory lane... er, memory hallway. I wasn't in the mood.

"Okay, well, I'm busy."

She frowned. "Oh."

"Don't be upset." God, was there something that I could fix today instead of messing up? "Mom, I'm sorry, I just have a lot going on, and I really need to do something. I'll see you at six though, right?"

She took a breath in and bobbed her head, eager again. "Yes. See you at six."

Her heels clicked when she left. How did I not notice clicking heels the first time?

Putting my mom out of my mind, and not really wanting to confront her again after that display, I turned back to my original direction and continued.

_Even your mother doesn't understand._

I tried not to pay attention. In the silence, it was hard. Maybe I needed to get an iPod or something. It wouldn't be as cool as my record player, but I could wear the earbuds around.

_I understand._

Why wouldn't she just leave me alone? I was finally starting to figure everything out. When Sydney was missing, and I was a mess, that was different. It made sense that she was there, but why now?

_Adrian, I understand you better than any one of your friends. Didn't you tell me that once?_

I was in high school. That was a little different. In high school, everyone's out to get you. And that wasn't her in the hallucinatory sense. That was the real Aunt Tatiana.

_Why won't you believe it now?_

Why? Because it wasn't true anymore. I did have friends that understood me. And anyway, this was irrelivent. I needed to be looking for Sydney, not trying to fix my inner turmoil.

"Adrian?"

What could someone possibly need _now_? I turned "What?"

Lissa blinked once at me, jade eyes bigger than usual. "Oh, I- sorry?"

I'd snapped at her. "No, no. I'm sorry, I didn't think."

"If you can't talk..."

"No, what is it?"

"I just wanted to know if you guys had found anything. Sydney kind of left in a hurry."

"I don't know," I replied, honestly. "I can't find her."

Lissa's eyes narrowed again. "You can't? Huh. Did you ask Dimitri? Where is he?"

"Looking for her. Yeah, I did. Rose just went to check the bathroom. I was heading this way." I motioned to the hall.

"Oh. Want me to help you look?"

That would be something to distract me from Aunt Tatiana, and I hadn't really talked to Lissa in a while. "Sure."

We started walking. Without a watch, I guessed about five minutes had passed since Dimitri and I talked, so I didn't have long. My pace was fast, but Lissa easily matched it.

"Why do you think she would have left?" Though she seemed calm and comfortable, her words came quick like she was breathing fast.

"That's what I've been trying to figure out."

"Do you think she would have gone down here?"

I shook my head. "No, but I'd rather exaust all options. I know her really well, but she tends to like to surprise me."

We walked in silence until we reached a door. I started to open it, and Lissa said, "That's just a closet."

"I'm still checking."

The cold door handle clicked loudly. The hefty door took most of my weight to pull open. Holding it open by wedging the edge of my shoe in, I looked around. Lissa was right. It was a closet, and it was unoccupied.

Lissa pulled the door away from my foot, and I stepped out of the way so she could let it close. Instead of letting go, she held the doorknob tightly and walked it back to it's starting position with caution like that of a spy sneaking into the enemy headquarters.

We kept walking. "So, Adrian..."

Oh, god. Her tone screamed _This is awkward and important!_

"What?"

"Can I just ask- I'm not judging or anything. I just was curious- How, and when, did you and Sydney get together?" Anxiety poured off her. I didn't need to see her aura for that. Yet, the question still kind of annoyed me. She clearly was trying, but her nose turned up a little when she said Sydney's name.

"Well obviously, we met in Palm Springs."

"Yeah," she prompted.

"And she started helping me out. She didn't need to, but she did. And I started to talk to her, and she was really awesome, and I kind of fell for her... hard."

"But she's an alchemist. How did she start liking you?"

I shrugged. "A lot of coddling."

Her face contorted and she spun to me. "So you seduced her? Try it on anyone else while you were there? The human freshmen? Jill?"

"What?" Seduce? God, if anything, I was letting her control the relationship. I just gave a little push. "I didn't seduce her."

She put her hand on her hip and stared me down.

"Liss, I'm not lying. Check my aura."

"Maybe it doesn't count as seducing to you because it wasn't _that bad_. But c'mon. When _don't _you seduce your girlfriends. Or lure them in with gifts, but you couldn't afford those while you were there."

"I didn't seduce her! I told her what I felt. She warmed up to me, denying it. I could see it in her aura. I told her I knew it, and eventually, she admitted it."

She kept staring at me. She was too focused to just be looking at me. She was checking my aura. A second later, her shoulders relaxed. "You're not lying."

"No. I'm not."

She shook her head. "You really have changed, haven't you."

I nodded.

"Sorry. I'm just completely on the wrong page, aren't I? Oh, no. I was just a complete jerk to you!" She kept shaking her head while she spoke. "Sorry."

"I get it. You know the old me. The old me would have done that."

She stopped shaking her head, but she didn't agree with me.

"I think we need to hurry. I told Dimitri I'd meet him in ten minutes, and it's been more than ten minutes."

Her flip flops didn't slap against her feet while she walked as they had before. They shushed against the floor. Defeated.

"Liss, stop feeling bad for yourself. I'm not mad." Sure, I was a little annoyed, but she didn't need to know that.

The next door opened easily to a big conference room. I bent at the waist to check under the table and chairs but didn't see her. "Is this the last room on this hall?"

"No." Lissa said. "There's still the throne room."

Oh, right. The throne room. "I forgot about that."

She didn't respond, in words or in expression, so I just closed the door behind me and went down to the last door.

Most of it was made of stained glass that depicted a much earlier queen. The only damage ever done to it was a light scribble of purple sharpie on a red shard near the bottom. I'd done it as a kid, before I'd really started to be a handful, and felt so guilty I tried to rub it off. Most of it came off, but a light streak remained. No one had ever noticed, but I knew.

"Do you want me to open the door or something?" Lissa asked, behind me.

"What? No." Had I been standing there long? I pushed open the door before my thoughts could distract me again and-

And the room was filled with her. This wasn't the usual throne room that Lissa used. This was the old one. Aunt Tatiana's. It remained exactly how it was before, and I could see her everywhere. Almost literally.

Every memory I had of this room came into my head at the same time. Her voice filled my head, saying everything at once, but I could understand every word as if I was only thinking about that one moment.

Something touched my arm and I turned, expecting to see her.

Lissa stood, a deep frown embedded onto her face.

I made the thoughts shut up. Or, well, quiet. I couldn't make them stop completely. "What?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah..." The answer was pretty much automatic. After a hesitant second of waiting for comprehension, I answered again, more confident. "Yeah."

"Are you sure? You zoned out. Was that a spirit moment again?"

"Uh..." My mind wasn't making much sense with all these distractions around me. "No, I just. This room has a lot of memories for me. I just need to stand in the hall I think."

But I didn't want to leave. They were all good memories.

About my aunt who was dead.

About my aunt who was murdered.

About my aunt who was a hallucinatory voice in my head now.

Suddenly feeling very claustrophobic, I pushed past Lissa into the hallway.

"If you're upset or something, you can tell me," she said.

"I'm fine. Give me a second."

"You're not fine. Adrian, you zoned out, and you didn't hear me say your name. I yelled it."

That was new. "You did?" Why did my voice sound so small? I wasn't some stupid, innocent, scared kid.

She didn't answer me. She watched me. When I realized this wasn't helping, I moved further away from the door and sat on the carpet against the wall.

"Can I tell you something?" I asked.

She sat next tome, her feet swung out beside her. "Anything. You know that."

"I do," I confirmed. "This is just kind of hard."

"Okay," she said, completely genuine.

"You have to promise not to say anything to anyone."

She frowned, the sad, I'm-here-for-you eyes gone. "Why?"

"It's something personal. And I already told Sydney. And maybe I'll even tell my mom. I just don't know how yet."

She relaxed a little again. "Okay. I promise."

"It has to do with spirit."

She clasped her hands together and clenched them there, her entire fingers quickly turning white. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. I'm not going to tell you until you stop suffocating your fingers though. No one wants those to fall off."

She smiled. "They won't. And it's the better option."

Better option? What did that mean?

The little things clicked.

"Oh, Liss..."

"What?" She looked me straight in the eyes.

"You're cutting again, aren't you." She was wearing long sleeves and this was the 'better option'?

"No."

I stared at her.

"I'm really not!"

"Well then what are you doing, because you can't say something like 'It's the better option' and not expect me to question you."

"You first."

I was stuck. No more making excuses. Now I not only needed to tell someone to get it off my chest, I needed to tell Lissa, so I could make sure she was okay. "Fine. You know what? I'm just going to say it. I- I hear- well I've heard for while -since right before I started taking the medication- except it stopped when I took the medication, so I guess it hasn't been since then. That's just the first time it happened, and it came back, and..."

"Adrian, just say it."

_Deep breath in. Deep breath out._

"I hear Aunt Tatiana talking to me in my head." I couldn't look at her when I said it. I looked at the opposite wall. "I know it isn't real, but I hear it all the time."

She said nothing. I still couldn't look at her, despite desperately wanting to. We sat there, and I listened to her breath. Finally, I said, "You're turn."

"I wasn't lying. I'm not cutting. I just kind of... I don't know what it's called. I kind of press my fingernails into my skin. I do it on my wrists though. I'm just used to it being there. It doesn't leave scars, and it doesn't draw blood, but it can leave little crescent red marks, so I've been wearing long sleeves."

"Does Rose know?"

"No." Her voice had dropped half an octave. "I can't tell her. She won't let me leave the room without her after that."

"Does anyone know?"

The wait was long. "Christian. He found them. He was mad I didn't tell him, but he got over it."

"What did he say?"

"He said I should find a therapist around here, but how would that look? Enough people think I'm crazy."

"If you need help, you need help."

"Says the guy hearing voices."

"It's not plural."

"It doesn't matter."

We sat in silence again. When I'd decided it had been long enough for a subject change to be socially acceptable, I said, "We should go back and find Dimitri."

She nodded in agreement, and we stood.

**Review Corner:**

**Airandfire: Thanks! And Taurus, though I'm not sure why you're asking...**

**Sagelover: Well hello "Guest"! Glad to have a name for you now. Yeah, I think it's really interesting too. I'm really interested in psychology, so I actually researched PTSD after TFH, anticipating it coming. I'm expecting a lot more in TRC.**

**Leia 96: Glad to hear that! And don't worry, ther's a lot more coming!**

**Rainy: Yes, Adrian is so like that :) I was writing that scene, and I was just thinking, _you know, I bet Adrian is trying so hard not to snoop right now_. Yeah, I do. We didn't see her full story. She's such a flat character right now, and Richelle is so good at giving her villains full back stories. It's bound to happen, and though Angeline is an interesting idea, she just seems so genuine.**

**DG amd Reed: Marly it is! And lol, you must be psychic :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Richelle Mead's world or characters.**

Chapter Six

Sydney

The sink sounded way too loud in the tile room. The sound reverberated off of seemingly everything. Every sound echoed.

I cupped my hands under the freezing cold stream, and let the water pour over them until they were numb, then I leaned in and splashed it against my face. Droplets landed in my hair. Some strands were wet enough to stick to my neck and chin. A few managed to cling to my chest. I needed to get my hair cut.

But there were bigger things to tend to.

Someone knocked. Before I could call anything out, the door opened with a breeze of warm air. Without thinking, I whipped around to face the person, whoever they would be.

It was Rose. She looked relieved. "Oh, good. You're in here. I told him you were in here."

"What?"

"Can you turn that off? We have to pay for that." She came over and spun the faucet's handle. The water stopped and so did the noise. I thought I didn't like the noise, but the silence was almost worse. Although it did help me think.

"Wait, why did you just open the door?" I turned back to the sink where a small towel hung from a ring on the wall to dry my hands.

"No one answered."

"You didn't give me much time to."

She shrugged. "Sorry."

It didn't bother me now as much as it would have if she had barged in at the wrong moment before I went through re-education. I mean, of course I loved privacy more than ever now, but I lost all sense of needing to hide at this point. For all I knew, they could be spreading recordings of me everywhere this moment, and the thought barely even bothered me anymore. Three months gives a person a lot of time to come to terms with a situation.

"Who's looking for me?" I asked, turning back. "Adrian?"

"Yeah."

"Okay." I wiped a few stray water droplets from my chin and pulled the door back open. Rose clicked the lights off at my back and rushed to catch up and walk beside me.

"Did you find anything out?"

I had. "Not really."

She half smiled, a try at sympathy. "Yeah. I figured."

"I really thought there would be something."

"We've got the best people we could get to find her. It won't be long. We're doing everything we can."

"I know, but what clues are there to follow?"

"Just as many as there was for you, I'd bet. And we found you."

After four months. Jill didn't have that long. There was only one way to help her now.

The hallway widened on the turn. We were almost to the main area. I assumed that was where Adrian would be waiting.

When we got back to the big lobby, no one was there, not even Dimitri. I looked into another open doorway, but I couldn't see anyone down there either. "Where is he?"

"Looking in the main area. He'll be back in a second. He doesn't have his phone on him he said." He must have left it in the bag. I supposed I could wait a few minutes, but we suddenly seemed so pressed for time.

Rose went to the desk and sat in the chair Dimitri had sat in before. "So how did you go from a full on scared-of-sleeping-on-the-same-train-as-a-dhampir alchemist to the first human to openly marry a moroi outside of the Keepers in, like, forever?"

Well, that was direct, but that was also Rose. It made sense. "I traveled with you and Dimitri for a while. I was kind of used to you guys, so I decided I could handle rooming with Jill, and she always seemed really nice. Sometimes, maybe this is why, she kind of reminded me of Zoe. They're the same age."

Rose threw her head over the back of the chair and her feet onto the high desk at the same time so that her hair dangled behind her and her body was almost in a V shape. "Zoe's the other one who was there, right?"

"Yeah."

"She's the one that ratted on you and Adrian?"

"Did Adrian tell you all this?"

"Adrian didn't even tell us you guys were together. I kind of get why. It still seems really weird to me, and I don't get it, but I'm not one to argue. And anyway, like I said at Sonya's wedding, you guys look cute together. You didn't answer the question."

"Yeah. She called my dad." As much as I wanted to defend her, it was true.

She shook her head, her face still up towards the ceiling. "That's messed up. What kind of person could do that to their sister?"

"It's not really her fault."

"Oh yeah? Explain."

"Well, Dad's really persuasive. She's young. And hey, you saw me in the beginning. I would have told Dad if Carly was off with some guy Dad didn't approve of."

"Still though."

Dimitri came in. His hair had come out from it's ponytail. He saw me and the rigidness in his form seemed to drop all at once like jerking a bucket of water upside down; all the water dropped at once, leaving just a light, hollow piece of plastic in your hands. When he saw Rose, he went from limp relaxation to amusement. "That's my chair."

"Actually, It's Nina's. You have no jurisdiction. "

"You need to stop quizzing Lissa before you become a lawyer."

I didn't care about their banter right then, so I went to the glass double doors and watched the trees move while I waited. There was a light wind, just enough to make the smaller branches in the trees move and the leaves ripple like the tiny waves on barely disturbed water.

"Oh, thank god."

I turned just in time for Adrian to practically slam into me and wrap his arms around me. I laughed. "Did you think I'd died or something? You were gone an hour."

"And fifteen minutes. And hour and fifteen minutes. I forgot the red sauce. No I didn't think you were dead, I thought you were attacked or something. I Was just about to get on Dimitri for not stopping all the intruders."

"All?"

"Well, if they knew you well enough to find you, they'd know you're impossible to capture with just one person."

I smiled into his shoulder. "Well, I'm fine. I'm okay."

He kept one arm around me when he pulled away. "Did you find anything?"

"No," I lied. "Ms. Terwilliger didn't find any magic residue, so we'll just have to wait for the fingerprint analysis."

It was almost as if he believed me, but his eyes narrowed, just a bit. "Oh. I guess we will." He turned from me suddenly and started toward the door.

"Where are you going?" Lissa asked. I hadn't known she was in the room.

"I'm going for a walk. I need some air. Oh, didn't you want to tell Rose something?"

The door closed behind him. I glanced back at the three by the desk. Rose was giving Lissa a stern look, Lissa looked mortified and angry. Dimitri was looking between them, confused and concerned.

"I'm going with him," I said, not wanting to get involved and knowing he wanted to confront me.

Outside, he stood just out of sight of the door with his arms crossed. He wasn't looking at me, his face was upturned slightly, at the sky. I glanced up, but with all the lights nearby, I could only see two stars.

"Please tell me you aren't that stupid," he said.

I looked to him. "What?"

"You are so lucky Lissa wasn't looking at your aura, or you'd have two spirit users on your back right now. Lucky for you, you've only got one. What did you find out."

"Nothing," I lied, because maybe he could find out I was lying, but he couldn't find out what the truth was just from that.

"I know you found something. What did you find?"

"Nothing," I insisted.

He came over to me and took my hands, holding them tightly like I was going to evaporate if he didn't hold on tight enough. "You can tell me." He'd lowered his voice to a whisper. I couldn't look up into his eyes, so I watched my fingers turn white under his grip.

"No, I can't."

"You don't trust me?"

"That's not it!" I did look up this time, and the sadness in the bright green of his eyes was frighteningly disarming. "I trust you more than anyone else in the world, and that's exactly why."

"I don't get it. How can that be a problem?"

"Because you can't know. If you know, we'll never get Jill back in time." He'd stop me, and I couldn't let that happen.

Apprehension crossed his face, and it was his turn to watch our hands. "Are you saying that because I really would endanger her? Because I wouldn't."

"You would. Not to hurt her, but you would. I'm sorry."

"At least that's not a lie."

I stretched my neck to reach his cheek and kissed him. Stubble poked at the thin skin of my lips, and I moved my face down into his chest. "I don't want to lie. I don't want to keep anything from you."

"Then don't."

"But I have to. I told you why."

He nodded into my hair. It still felt strange to be this close to him out in the open. Anyone could walk by and see us, and it no longer mattered, but we'd been hiding for so long.

"Sydney, promise me you aren't going to leave." His voice jumped from the insecure version it had slipped into, back to strong and sure.

I didn't want to lie, and I knew he'd be looking for it, but I said, "I promise."

"You're lying."

I had no answer to that.

Adrian clearly lied about knowing how to make spaghetti. He spent the whole time reading the directions and barely saving the pasta from being burnt, dropped, or something else to that effect.

I sat at the table, peeling vertical stripes into the skin of a cucumber. "Do you want some help?"

"I've got it," he answered again as he attempted to pour the noodles into the strainer. A cloud of steam rose and he backed up with surprise, almost dropping the heated pot onto his foot. It only slipped out of one hand though, and swung against the side of the counter with a hollow, metal, ringing sound.

"Are you sure?" I knew I shouldn't be laughing at him, but I couldn't help it. He looked ridiculous when he was so angry, especially with the unmatched mittens on. He'd even managed to find an apron, and it only added to my amusement.

"Stop laughing," he demanded and put the pot back on the counter.

"I can't help it. I've never seen you so angry and confused."

"Or in an apron. I know."

"Why are you wearing that anyway?" I placed the cucumber onto the cutting board and slid the large knife through it. The verb 'chop' fit the sound perfectly, only it was dragged out just a bit at the beginning, as the sharp ending only fit a millisecond of what was really happening.

"I'm not going to stain this shirt. It's expensive."

"Everything around here is expensive. That apron probably cost more than the shirt."

"Yes, but it's _supposed _to get dirty. That's it's job."

I just continued chopping.

"What, you don't buy that?"

"I do."

"Do you?"

"Are you going to take that spaghetti out of the strainer or are we going to eat out of the sink?"

I heard him turn back to the sink and lift the strainer from the stainless steel. Water poured out from the sound of it, and wafts of steam reached out and trickled into my line of sight. Adrian swore.

"What happened?" I asked, without looking up.

"The water's hot!"

"Well, yeah. Did it splash you or something?"

He didn't answer, clearly reasoning that I was going to tease him if he answered truthfully. Which was true. I would have.

The door opened and Daniella Ivashkov came sweeping into the suite with a paper bag in one hand and a purse too small to hold anything worth carrying on her elbow.

"Hello," she said and put the bag down in between my bowl of lettuce and my unchopped tomatoes. "Ooh, why is there so much smoke?"

"Steam," I corrected. "Adrian's cooking."

She went to where he was trying to stir the sauce and looked in. "Is there supposed to be this much steam?"

Adrian glanced over at me, and I smiled at him. He was on his own here.

"I don't know," he finally answered.

Daniella tried to take the spoon from him and pulled away with a high, "Oh! It's hot."

"It's metal," I said. "Metal conducts heat."

"Yes, of course." She grabbed a green, plastic ladle from a hanging rack over the stove and pointed it at Adrian. "Why am I the one doing this?"

"I was fine with the spoon."

"Your hand is pink. Did you burn yourself?"

"Not with the spoon."

I kept my head down. Neither of them would be happy to see me laughing at them.

"Did you run it under water? Isn't that what your supposed to do?"

"Yeah, Sydney said to. Then I found these gloves." he pointed to where he'd put them on the counter.

"You should be wearing them to touch that spoon." she lifted one with two fingers. "Who thought of _these_."

I shook my head and stood up. "How about I finish the spaghetti and you guys can make the salad." Watching Adrian struggle was funny. Watching Adrian and his Mom struggle was just kind of sad. Anyway, I needed this to be done soon. There wasn't much time.

**I feel like this chapter is puny compared to the last chapter... but in total honesty, the last chapter is the longest chapter I've written on anything... including my original novels. Which says one of two things: 1. I need to work on extending my scenes with details and descriptions or 2. I should just put more stuff into each chapter. Opinions?**

**Review corner:**

**Sagelover: Sorry she wasn't somewhere more interesting... She will be. Does that make up for it?**

**DG and Reed: It's okay! Don't freak out (yet)! "Was she taken by Nina?" I wonder if she's capable of that... Not saying that specifically will happen, but you really shouldn't give me ideas... *evil grin*  
I'm kind of following the TRC plot, but I'm not sure if I know how to work that part in. If I can find a way I will. I certainly have spirit theories...**

**Airandfire: I feel like I've reached a new level! I'm on the list :) Were your suspicions right? And "Yowza?" Do you just like the word or do I smell a whovian...? Either way, it's an awesome word!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Richelle Mead's world or characters.**

Chapter Seven

Adrian

Because my mother thought of pretty much everything, we somehow ended up with a red tablecloth and evergreen scented candles. I asked her why she'd chosen a Christmas scented candle, and her only answer was "I like trees." That was definitely a lie.

Sydney sat across the square table table from me. Mom sat at the side diagonal to my left. The bowl of salad was in the exact center with the bread laid on a plate to the left. Sydney had spent twenty minutes spreading a very thin layer of butter on each piece. I almost wanted to add more to my piece, since I could barely taste it, but I wasn't going to do that.

Mom cut her spaghetti just enough so that she could still twirl it around her fork and not get sauce on her face. Sydney cut it so small, tiny pieces kept falling back onto the plate when she tried to scoop it onto the tines.

I didn't bother with either, which got me deservedly disapproving looks from both of them. They were just lucky I'd remembered my mother's napkin-on-the-lap rule.

_Look at you,_ Aunt Tatiana spat, _having a nice, normal dinner. How tame. How unlike you. You could be off doing bigger things. You could be helping Jill. Who knows what she's going through right-_

"How was your day, Mom?" I asked, cutting her off.

"Marvelous!" Mom said, twirling the pasta. "I had brunch with some old friends and spent the day at the gallery."

I didn't have a comment for that, but Sydney did. "Gallery?"

"Yes. There's a small show right now. They're showing sculptures from roughly a dozen or so moroi artists."

She looked to me. "Maybe you could enter a painting."

"I'd have to paint new ones," I said.

Sydney frowned. "What happened to the others?"

I didn't answer, and we ate in silence again for what seemed like a long time. A pool of melted wax was forming in the middle of the candle.

"This is very good," Mom said to neither of us in particular.

"Thanks," Sydney said. Her voice was always so small around people who she deemed above her. She sounded almost childlike. I repeated the gesture without the change in tone.

"So," Mom said, "Sydney. Have you been to Court before?"

She nodded. "Yes. Three times."

"Oh? When was this? I've never seen you here before."

Sydney pushed the second half of her serving of spaghetti around her plate as she spoke. "Once was with Adrian and a guardian on a spirit related um..." She looked to me, questioning.

"Fiasco," I said with a smile.

"We usually call them missions," she continued. She sounded a little unsure at the topic, but she certainly wasn't going to go around saying we'd been on a fiasco. "I was here twice concerning guardian Hathaway."

"Oh, Rose," Mom nodded. "Yes. I know her."

"From your tone, I assume you know her well?"

"Somewhat," she said. "I guess I do."

I smiled. "I don't think you do. You didn't sound scared enough."

Sydney laughed at that. "Yeah. Rose is... something."

We both nodded.

The rest of the meal went by in silence, not that there was much of it left. Sydney excused herself first, and my mother soon after that. I was left with an empty plate and dishes that I knew I'd have to do before Sydney drove herself mad.

Scrubbing the first plate, I listened to the news station my mom had put on. Sydney had come and sat in the armchair to watch. It wasn't very interesting -something about foreign countries and things like that. It was always foreign countries, wasn't it?

"Do you want help?" Sydney asked.

"Nope," I said, although I kind of did. My hand hurt from earlier, and the last thing I wanted to do was scrub, but it wasn't excruciating, and after the things I'd done instead of looking for Sydney, I should be doing more manual labor than this.

_You shouldn't feel guilty. If she's really as amazing as you say, she should have been able to get herself out._

_Will you shut up?_

After a while, Sydney went back into our room. I hurried to finish the last dish and met her in there.

She knelt on the floor, scrubbing the shoes she'd gotten from the woman on the train with what looked like one of the hand towels from the bathroom. I knelt in front of her so our knees touched.

I didn't want to pester her, but I couldn't help but bring it up, if only to see her reaction to the subject. "You didn't finish you plate."

Knowing she'd keep her expression as normal as possible, I looked at her aura as I spoke, and it did seem to make her nervous for a second. "It was a large serving."

"You didn't eat breakfast. You barely ate lunch."

"I was working during breakfast, and I had a sandwich at lunch. Is it a problem that I didn't want chips with it?"

There was no way to argue either of those statements, at least not in words. I knew that this was something beyond simply being distracted and not liking chips. Sydney wasn't like that. And she did like chips. "Is it because your worried about Jill?"

She put the first shoe aside and picked up the next one. The cloth was surprisingly clean after how hard she'd scrubbed. "Nothing's wrong."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!" But she shook her head. "You don't have to babysit me."

_Babysit. All your trying to do is help, and she can't respect that._

I wanted to tell Aunt Tatiana to shut up, but the worst part was, the thought had crossed my mind in my own voice first. No, I didn't believe it either, but it crossed my mind. "i just want to make sure your okay."

"I know." She shook her head. Her voice was quiet: just above a whisper. "Sorry. It's just something I thought was behind us now. When you bring it up, I feel like it puts more pressure on me then help. It's like your watching me to make sure I do what I'm supposed to. I appreciate the gesture, it just feels kind of overbearing sometimes."

As much as I wanted to defend my side and spurt off a list of reasons for being so attentive, I was just happy she was talking about the deeper stuff again. And, though I wondered if it was a good idea, I tried to push deeper -while we were already dredging under the surface. "Is that why you don't want to tell me what happened in that place? You don't want me to be too worried?"

She shook her head again -she was doing that a lot lately, but she still didn't look up. "Not exactly. It's more me than you."

"Can you at least explain why you can't explain? I'd really like to know. I want to help you. I want to know what you've been through."

"Every time I talk about re-education, all I can see is what happened there and who got hurt and why and when. Mostly the why and the sensations. Sometimes, it's just one, because sometimes it's just more prominent. Sometimes, it was the only one I could think about because It was just that strong. If not for the surrounding memories, I wouldn't know where that moment in time was taking place, if anyone was there, or where the sensation was coming from..." She trailed off. Her hand had stopped moving and had even gone limp. The rag hung from her fingertips over the shoe sitting on her lap, her other hand's fingers looped into the heal. Her eyes bore not into me but off. It gave me this vague, creepy sense that I needed to look behind me.

"Sydney," I said.

She jerked a little, just enough to make her hair quiver and her hand twitch. The rag fell onto the shoe, and she quickly grabbed it and started scrubbing again. She was trembling.

"You don't want to talk about it?" I asked. I guessed the normal phrasing of that question was _Do you want to talk about it? _But I figured she wouldn't, and it felt pointless to ask if she would.

"No. Sorry, I just- can't."

I watched her finish the shoe and brush off her pants before she stood. Sydney put the shoes back under the end of the bed and went to put the hand towel into the hamper in the bathroom.

While she was gone, I moved from the carpet to the bed. I knew something was going on, and I knew she was worried about it. I knew whatever it was, it was about Jill, and I would disapprove. Therefor, I knew it put Sydney in danger. All I wanted to do was stop it, but the one thing I knew was that she wasn't going to let me.

So we'd make the best of the time we had.

When she came back in and saw me under the quilt, she half-smiled at me and shut the door behind her. "It's a little early."

"Why? Do we have all night?"

She frowned. "No."

"What, you have to get up in the morning?"

She shrugged and crawled under the blanket on her side of the bed. "It still smells like hotel in here."

"Yeah, but that's why we're _both _here."

Her thin lips turned up once again. "Maybe it'll start to smell like you soon."

"Or you... Oh, that'd be nice."

She buried her face into my shoulder and laughed. Her hand was up by her throat, I could feel it, and I realized she was holding the cross. I wrapped my hand around hers. "I hope you washed that."

The quiet laughter that had just trickled back into silence erupted again. It was infectious, and I wondered -for a moment- if she was laughing at what I'd said or just laughing because she could, because she rarely could. Either way, it got me laughing too.

"I can't," she said, finally. "Won't the paint come off?"

"Maybe, but so will the Sheridan."

Somehow, this continued for a few minutes. We'd make jokes that weren't so funny, and we'd both laugh. It was the purest form of hysteria as far as I could tell, and it was a whole lot better than any alternatives I could think of.

When she'd calmed down, she breathed deeply against my neck and ear. "God, why can't the hotel scent go away? We should trade pillows. I want to smell _you _when I fall asleep."

"Why do you need a pillow when I'm right here?" I suggested, quietly so my mom couldn't hear. I didn't know how much she could hear through the door, but it was uncharacteristically silent in there. There wasn't even the occasional tink of knitting needles.

As if it was possible, she moved closer to me, pressing herself against me so that our embrace was almost suffocating, but that was the key word. Almost. If someone were to try to get closer, neither of us would be breathing, yet somehow I still wished I could.

I did the next best thing. I pressed my lips against hers and held her close to me. Closer. As close as I could. We only breathed when we absolutely needed to and that seemed much less often than normal. She tugged at my shirt, and I smiled into her.

I woke sometime in the early morning light. We were slowly getting used to the moroi schedule, but we were on a weird clock for the time being. I wasn't really surprised to be awake.

I rolled over, hoping to get closer to Sydney again. We'd apparently moved away from each other in our sleep. But Sydney wasn't there. Instead, just over the side of the bed, I saw the top of her head, the golden halo of flyaway hairs practically twinkled in the pink-orange light.

"Sydney..." I murmured, trying to get a handle on my motor functions. I managed to prop myself up on my elbow. She was kneeling in front of one of my mom's purses. There was some makeup and some other small purse-y things strewn around her, and she was looking up at me like a child caught doing something bad. Her hand, holding something I couldn't see in the dark, was frozen half in and half out of the unzipped mouth. "Sydney, what are you doing?"

I was still groggy and trying to make sense of what was happening. She finished putting the thing into the bag and said, "Sorry. Did I wake you up? I didn't know I was being loud. I'll go in the other room."

With that, she picked up the purse and a few things from around the room and left.

Too groggy to process what had happened, I laid back on the bed and pulled the quilt up to my chin. Had she had a nightmare? What was she doing with my mom's bag? I had this sense that I was missing something... that this meant something bad, but I was too tired to remember why.

I woke up at a more normal time, with the digital clock saying it was late moroi morning.

And the nights events came back to me in a rush.

I sat up and turned to where she usually was, but she wasn't there. When I got up, she wasn't in the kitchen or the bathroom. She wasn't on the couch, and her room key was on the counter. She hadn't even bothered to take it with her... like she wasn't coming back.

Sydney was gone, and I hadn't even tried to stop her.

"No!" I slammed the fleshy part of my fist into the marble counter, not caring how badly it hurt. "No! How could I be so stupid?"

"Adrian?" Mom's voice was thick with sleep. "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

I leaned against the door and sank down to a crouch, my hands locked in my hair. "Sydney left."

She sat up, slowly. "What do you mean?"

"She left, Mom! She went to go save- She went to go help someone, and I didn't stop her. She's putting herself in danger!"

She ran a hand through her tussled hair. I couldn't see her expression. The light from the window had turned her face to a silhouette. "I may not know her well, but she doesn't seem like someone who could be easily stopped. Don't blame yourself."

But I did. How could I not? I had watched her walk out... I was just too... too groggy, and too stupid, to catch on.

I had to find her. I wasn't going to lose her again. I _couldn't _lose her again.

**Before I do review corner, I just want to thank everyone who's been favoriting, following, and reviewing this story! The more people are following, the more pressure I have on me to write a new chapter, which believe it or not, is a good thing!**

**Review Corner:**

**Rainy: Thanks for the feedback. Aw, I guess I get it. She is keeping things from him, though she has motives. Adrian cooking was probably the most laughable part I've written in this story so far! I hope I'll get to fit some more humor in soon, but it's gonna start getting intense in about... two chapters I think, so I don't really know if there will be many full scenes of it like that. Rose being a lawyer made me actually laugh! She'd end up having to represent herself after she lost it on a judge. (My client IS NOT GUILTY!) At least Lissa's got Rose and Dimitri now, by Adrian's doing. And Adrian too of course, though with Sydney gone he'll hardly be much help...**

**Sagelover: I'm glad you think so! I'm trying, but I think I have to reread some passages so I can get the internal monologues a little more like them. And you got some answers to that here...**

**Guest: I knew another guest would show up in the reviews at some point. Thanks for the review! I'm updating as fast as I can with school and all. If you review again, I'd really appreciate if you put a name of some kind so I can properly give tribute to you in the review corner, and so we don't have multiple guest's. Thanks!**

**Jpitt: Oh don't worry, he's not taking it _that _well. He just thought he'd be able to stop her... Oh, Adrian... When will he learn?**

**Issyjane249: Aw, you're sweet! Thanks! I haven't seen that many 'After Silver Shadows' fics up yet actually, but I know that there are a lot of good writers in the Bloodlines fandom. I haven't checked for those in a while... and with that reminder, I'm off to read fanfics!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own Richelle Mead's world or characters.**

Chapter Eight

Sydney

It was a stroke of luck Daniella didn't have a pass code on her phone.

I hadn't thought of it until Adrian and I got back to the suite, but I had overlooked something essential: I had no computer, no printer, and no car.

Hoping I remembered the right number, I typed up a message as quickly as I could. "It's Sydney. Come outside. I need to talk to you."

_Send_.

I checked to make sure the phone was on vibrate, and waited with it in my hands. One of Daniella's purses was slung over my shoulder, my things inside. I felt bad for taking it, but I wasn't going to leave here unprepared, though I guessed I still was.

I leaned against the cool marble counter. I couldn't risk sitting in the chairs. They weren't very loud, but the squeaked just a little when anyone sat down, and for all I knew, Adrian was still awake in there: waiting for me to come back.

The phone vibrated, and I slid it unlocked. Rose had texted back. "b there in 5". The lack of grammar alone was somewhat amusing and almost sad. She didn't know what she was about to help me do.

I texted back. "Okay. Don't text this number again." Then, I deleted the messages, put the phone back as close to it's original spot as I could remember, and opened the door with a faint _click_.

I glanced back once more. The TV was on low volume, Adrian's mom splayed on the sofa bed. Some infomercial for a vacuum cleaner I'd probably never buy was playing. A woman with an unnaturally white smile and moroi thin hips ran it along a white carpet, clearing it immediately of a stain. I longed for the normalcy of a life like that, even one that wasn't realistic.

But I wasn't normal. I was the daughter of an alchemist and the wife of a moroi. I was the most wanted rebel alchemist, above Marcus Finch of all people. I was a human living in a court guest home for an indefinite amount of time with a family that is only learning how to be middle class. I am Sydney Katherine Sage Ivashkov.

And I was about to do something that might end all of that, which almost made it all sound peaceful.

Rose paced by the door. When she saw me, she stopped. "Oh thank god. I thought something had happened. It's been six minutes! You're never late.'

One side of my mouth twitched. "Sorry."

"What did you need? What's going on?"

"I just need some help with something."

"Anything! You know that."

I did smile this time. "You got up and came out to wait for me at whatever hour this is... late enough -or early enough- that Adrian's sleeping."

"It's not that bad."

She was lying though. Her hair was knotted like she'd been sleeping, she wasn't wearing any makeup, and she had thrown a bathrobe on over her pajamas.

"I need two favors, important favors."

She nodded. "Okay. What are they?"

"I need a computer with internet and a printer first of all."

"Why?"

"Rose..." I tried to sound stern, but it only half-worked. I wasn't scared of her like I was before, but I was not in any position to tell her what to do, and I didn't want to.

She nodded and lead me inside. The palace was seemingly colder with the lights off. Maybe it was the lack of activity. Maybe I was just nervous. I didn't have much doubt in my theory, and I really wished I did.

We reached a huge library. I instantly wanted to look around at the books, but I focused myself on the computers. They were over in the leftmost corner on sturdy maple tables that matched their chairs perfectly.

The computer was a desktop, though I wasn't sure what kind. Some kind of Microsoft. When I turned on the monitor, a fan sounded softly. Normally, it would have been relieving; it worked, but instead it seemed to echo through the room loudly. The printer would be even louder.

I'd made the email account while on the Skype call with Ms. Terwilliger. She said she'd send the ticket this way. When I logged in, I was relieved to see there was mail in my inbox, but there wasn't one email. There was two.

Two? One was from Ms. Terwilliger with the simple title "hurry". The other was entitled "Sydney", and I didn't recognize the account.

It was irrelevant for now -probably spam. I clicked on Ms. Terwilliger's, opened the ticket on Google Drive, and hit print.

After some pressing of buttons on the printer and again on the screen, they printed. Rose looked on the whole time, quiet for once, behind the printer. When the ticket came out, she snatched it before I could get there.

"You're leaving then? Alone?"

I grabbed the paper, but she wouldn't let go. "Don't tell anyone. Please."

She didn't look at me. She kept at the paper. I couldn't read it in the lighting, but dhampirs had better sight than humans. It was probably easy for her. "Can you get another ticket? Can I come with you?" She did look up at me now. "I could help you. I could protect you. I get you don't want to bring an army, but one more person can't hurt, right?"

I tried to pull the paper from her grasp again, and this time, she let go. "I'm sorry, Rose. I can't take anyone with me."

"What are you going to do? Who is it? I know you're not stupid enough to fight against the alchemists... Your teacher found something, didn't she?"

I nodded and sat back down to log out of my account.

"What did she find?"

"I can't tell you that."

"Why?" Her voice had risen, higher not louder, and she the whites of her eyes glowed and glistened in the dimness.

"You'll come after me. Or you'll tell Adrian, and he'll come after me."

"I promise I won't. I just want to know where you'll be."

"California. Near Palm Springs. That's all of the where _I _know for now. All you need to know is that Jill's going to be back here in a matter of days."

"How long do you think?"

I thought about how meeting would Alicia would happen. It would probably be an instant fight. She'd probably win, since I am out of practice, but I'd make sure Jill is out and Ms. Terwilliger is waiting for her. Of course, I'd have to find and get to her first. "Not long. Two days at the most?"

"You're coming back too." She said it like an order, like I had no choice.

"Yeah. Definitely."

I hit _shut down_ on the computer and stood. When the screen turned off, the corner of the room where we stood had fallen back into darkness, so I couldn't see Rose, but I faced where she'd been. The darkness was unnerving, but there was still light from the hall. "I need a car. Is that possible?"

"I'll drive you."

"You're not coming with me."

"I know." She stepped into the more light area of the room, and I followed her out, the plane ticket held in a death grip. "Someone will notice a missing car though, and anyway, I can't be polite?"

"No. You can't."

She laughed, probably more loudly than we could afford to be. I quickened my pace and passed her.

Outside, she took the lead again, and we headed over to a car lot nearby. She stopped in front of a blue suburban. "well, we could take this, or we can take that." She pointed to the car beside it: a white Honda Both were unspectacular. "I know you like your cars, so I'll let you pick."

"They're both average," I said and went to the end of the white car. "I guess your not going to let me drive, right?"

"Not in a million years."

I went around to the passenger's side and opened the door. A scent that I remembered as Dimitri's burst out in a cloud of warm air. "Will Dimitri be mad we're taking his car?"

"How did you know it was Dimitri's? And yeah, but only because I'm helping you here. Sit."

I did. She put the keys in the ignition and the lights on the dashboard turned on. "Why _are _you helping me?"

She put it in park and turned her head to steer us backwards. "Because I know you, and you're not stupid." She hit the breaks, turned back to the front and drove out of the lot. "You wouldn't risk this unless you knew it was worth it."

It mattered what her idea of what worth it meant, but in theory, "That's true."

"So unless Adrian has really gotten to you, I don't have to worry."

I didn't answer that. Like I said, it was true... in theory. It would be worth it, but I couldn't guarantee two people would come out of this alive. That wasn't the point though. I had one mission, though mission seemed like an inappropriate choice of words. Without the alchemists giving me orders, I would never go on a mission again.

This was a choice, and I made it.

Somewhere around the halfway point, when we were driving down a highway I remembered quite well, Rose turned on the radio to a station of loud pop I'd never heard before. I was never interested in new music, but I wondered how much I hadn't heard because I wasn't searching and how much was because I was gone.

We pulled up to the airport, and Rose turned into the parking lot. "What are you doing?" I asked. "There's a drop-off lane."

"I'm going to protect you as long as you'll let me."

"That's not necessary,"

"I know, but it'll make me feel less guilty once you're gone." She got out of the car and slammed the door shut. I sighed, slung the purse back over my shoulder, and kicked open the door. She was already a good four cars away by the time I'd shut the door. When it shut, she pointed a remote back and the car beeped. She didn't glance back once. I hurried to catch up with her.

She didn't look at me. She looked straight ahead at the door.

"Rose, you can't come with me."

"I never said I was going to."

But she wanted to. She wanted me to invite her along, and I couldn't.

Inside, she walked me to the security line, and stopped. I stopped too, though my flight left in less than an hour according to the ticket. "Are you sure this is all I can do?"

"If I need you, I'll call."

She nodded. "Bye. Again."

"Bye." I turned and stepped into the end of the line. It was only a few steps. "And thanks," I said, glancing back. She was already walking away.

Security let me through without a hitch, though it took as long as always, and I went straight to my gate.

The intercom announced that they were boarding. I had arrived perfectly on time.

The first class passengers trickled on, and I watched from a plastic chair. The child next to me slept in his mother's arms. She watched with eager, excited eyes.

"Are you on vacation?" she asked me, suddenly.

"No. Business."

"Well, it's LA, isn't it? You'll find some time. This is my first vacations since Cam was born." She motioned to the kid. "Three years. I swear... I love him to bits, but he's a handful."

They called my group, and I a said a quick "Have fun" at them before standing.

The line formed, and I got in behind a child with blond ringlets. She must have been twelve or so and she practically hung on the man she stood with. He must have been her father.

"It's okay," he kept repeating.

"I don't like planes," she kept responding. "Plane's crash, and there's too many people stuck in one place. Stuck in the _same seats_!"

"But think about once we get there! We'll get to see Grandma."

She nodded. "I know."

The girl didn't seem consoled though. I watched her get on.

And I stepped out of line.

"Sorry. Go ahead," I said to the man behind me. "I forgot something in the waiting area."

I took a few steps back and closed my eyes. What was I thinking? She was right! There was no way to get off a plane, not until it landed! What if there was an alchemist on board, or what if thy caught on before I got there? They'd have people waiting. I'd have no where to go. That wasn't even to mention the fact that I'd be stuck in the same room with the same people who I didn't know for six hours.

I'd done it before. Why was I so scared all of a sudden? Why couldn't I just breathe?

"Are you okay?" a man asked. I turned around, quickly, and and he raised his hands, a slight smile on his lips. "I'm not going to hurt you. Are you trying to board? They're going to close the gates soon. We have to get on."

"I- I-" I couldn't form a sentence. I took a deep breath and wiped the terror from my face in a matter of seconds. "Yes. Sorry." I may not be an alchemist anymore, but to get through this, I was going to have to play one.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Thanks." I turned to the gate. He was right. They were letting the last person in line on. How long had I been standing there? And I'd backed further away than I thought I had. I started walking back.

"Scared of flying?" he asked. "My brother used to be terrified of it. I used to tell him he'd die of a heart attack before he died of a plane crash, and it would be his own fault for getting himself all worked up."

"Is he who you're going to visit?"

"Oh no. He's- He's long gone. I'm going to visit my granddaughter. Her school year just ended a few weeks ago. She's been staying at a mentor's house since she moved out of the dorm. They're still working, she said. I thought I'd come and surprise her."

"Really? What's her name?"

"Renee."

"That's a nice name."

"My daughter said it means reborn. She liked the sound of that, after all she'd gone through with their father. Raised those girls all on her own."

"Where's she now?" We reached the gate. I handed the woman my ticket.

"Have a nice flight," she said.

The man handed his ticked over too and followed me in. "My daughter? Working nonstop to help pay for that godforsaken art school... Renee always had a thing about her colored pencils. She didn't want to leave Danni either."

"What school is she attending?" As long as he didn't stop talking, I could keep walking.

"Carlton."

"Really? My boyfriend just finished a semester there."

"Is that why you're on this flight?"

"No. I'm on business. A business exchange."

"Can't you do those over the phone?"

I found my seat, in between a thin woman in black with a mac open on her lap and a man who looked anything but friendly. I climbed over the man's legs. "Not always."

"Well, good luck," he said, continuing down the isle.

"You too sir."

He laughed. "And they say your generation is rude?"

**a/n: For anyone who read Dancing on the Edge: Yes. It is the same Renee :) I had to include her! There was an opportunity! Of course, this is an alternate story, so none of that stuff happened, but still... same Renee.**

**Review Corner:**

**Jpitt: Lol, I suppose it is! Yeah, I guess he thought she wouldn't leave him like that or something... Oh, Adrian.**

**DG and Reed: Oh, you must know why! She couldn't just sit with Jill missing! We will get to see Eddie and those guys soon, though I can't say you'll be happy at their level of involvement...**

**Sagelover: Thanks! Happy to hear you're still reading :)**

**Issyjane249: So glad!**

**Charmed Ivashkov: It's okay, it's okay... Don't cry (yet)...  
Sydney only took Daniella's purse. She didn't want to bring the bigger bag, and keep reading. You'll see... Although you have to keep in mind that she can't do the scrying spell anymore, because she's no longer a virgin.**

**I'm super grateful to everyone who's still reading! I hope you're all enjoying it so far and will stick around for the rest!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own Richelle Mead's world or characters.**

Chapter Nine

Adrian

No matter how loud I knocked, Lissa wouldn't open the door. I finally realized she must not be home and spun on my feet, ready to go right back out to the desk I'd barreled past and ask Nina for help instead.

No one was there either.

I thought for a minute. It wasn't Nina's day off. Maybe Lissa and Christian went out for some reason and brought Rose and Dimitri, but where was Nina? She hadn't answered the door yesterday, and missing two days of work was unlike her. Unlike me, even through all that we were doing, she kept up with her job, knowing she would need the money.

Where was she?

Where was anyone? Everyone seemed to be gone this morning! Did Sydney bring everyone _but _me?

_What did I tell you? It's just you and me, Adrian. You can't trust those friends of yours._

"Shut up!" I grabbed my hair with both hands and raked my fingers through it. "Shut up! I need to think!"

_I'm only trying to help._

"I said shut _up!_" I kicked the base of the desk and ran out, pushing the door open with more force than I needed to. It hit the doorstop when I was already a good ten feet away.

There had to be someone around here who could help, right? Lissa, Christian, Dimitri, Rose, and Nina were all gone. Who else? Sonya and Mikail might be able to help. If worse came to worse, I could go to my mom. I didn't know what she would do though. Sonya better be home.

I only stopped running, when I started approaching a bigger group of people. Running through a crowd may be necessary sometimes, but it was plain stupid in a situation like this.

With my hand hovering in front of the door, I had a tiny moment of hesitation and guilt. She was on some weird schedule. She could be sleeping.

But Sydney was missing. Nina might be missing. No one I could usually go to was around. I needed someone.

I knocked.

It took a minute; I actually started to wonder if she was out too. She eventually answered though. Lucky enough, she was dressed and looked well awake.

"Adrian? Why are you in your pajamas?"

I was? Oh yeah. I guess I was. "I need your help."

She frowned and stepped out of the doorway to let me in. "What's wrong?"

Then I realized she probably didn't know about Jill. They didn't know each other well, so it wasn't exactly something that would come up. I'd been told not to tell anyone, but I knew Sonya wouldn't say anything unless she absolutely had to.

"Did you hear about Jill?"

She motioned for me to come in, and finally I did. She shut the door. "What do you mean? Is she okay?"

"We're not really sure. She... disappeared yesterday."

"Oh no! Do they know where?"

"It matters." I reached into my hair again. "It matters who you mean by 'they'. Sydney knows. Her mentor knows. No one else does."

"You said you needed my help? What can I do?"

"Well, actually, I don't know if other people know. I went to tell Lissa, and she, Christian, Dimitri, and Rose were all gone."

"Do they know about Jill?" Something whistled and she hurried into the kitchen. I followed at a slightly slower pace.

"They do. But Sydney knows the details. She knows how to get her back. The problem is, she went to do it on her own."

Sonya moved the kettle to a different burner. "She didn't bring anyone?"

"I don't think so, but like I said, a bunch of people are gone. Nina's gone too."

She turned back to me. "You haven't seen her either? She didn't show up for some testing we were going to do yesterday."

"She called into work yesterday, and she didn't answer her door."

"Did she say why she wasn't coming in?"

I shrugged. "Dimitri said she mentioned an appointment or something. He didn't know the details."

She turned toward the pantry and pulled a box of instant oatmeal from the back. "That's so unlike her. I hope it's not anything bad. Was she in today?"

"_Lissa _wasn't in today."

She nodded, turning around. "Yeah. That makes sense. Do you want a bowl?"

I looked at the oatmeal and noticed, for the first time, that I was hungry. Maybe she'd let me stay longer if I was busy anyway. "Sure. Thanks."

She took two bowls from another cabinet. They were loud when she put them down on the counter. "How do you know Sydney left to get Jill?"

"I knew she was hiding something. I could see it, but I didn't push her. I thought I'd stop her if she tried to leave." I covered my eyes with one hand. "I'm so stupid. She woke me up, packing or something, but I was too groggy to catch on."

"Well then that's not stupidity. That's sleep deprivation." Steam rose up when she poured the water. "I can easily vouch for that."

"How _has _your spirit been? You're still doing the tests and experiments or whatever it is. Is that affecting you?"

She sighed. "I won't lie. It has, but it isn't as horrible as I thought it would be by now. Compared to right before I- Well, that's a level I'm going to make sure I don't get to again." She put a bowl on the island. "Sit. I'll get you a spoon."

I knew her story, but I hadn't known her before. All I'd gathered from Rose and Lissa was that she was insane. _Crazy Ms. Karp _they called her then.

"What's it like for you?" I asked. "I mean, Lissa gets depressed... or mad. I've got bipolar-ish symptoms."

_And me, _Aunt Tatiana whispered.

"I get paranoid. It's like, someone is always in the room, even when they aren't. I don't see things or hear things, or at least I don't now, but I can sense someone is there. It's like when someone's watching you, and you turn around, and someone is, only when I turn around, I'm alone."

"Creepy."

"Pretty much." She sat and slid a spoon across the table to me with one hand. With the other hand, she plunked her own spoon into her bowl. "It's not terrible now. I have a little more trouble falling asleep. I make a point to sit with my back to a wall when I can. Windows stay closed more. That's about it."

I almost wanted to call her lucky for the little she had to deal with, but I wasn't sure I could deal with paranoia, not with the situation Sydney and I were in. I'd be constantly scared for her safety. "Does it feel evil or anything? The, uh, eyes?"

"They're different all around. Here, not so much."

"But sometimes they are."

She nods and takes a scoop of breakfast mush.

"What are we going to do about Sydney? Is there any way we can go after her?"

She seemed exasperated with me. "Adrian, why wouldn't she tell you what was going on?"

"To protect me? She does that to everyone, and I don't need protecting."

"Who needs protecting right now is Jill."

I remembered what she said in front of the palace. _"If you know, we'll never get Jill back in time."_

I took a bite of oatmeal. I remembered I didn't like oatmeal. It was always like that. It was warm and featured as one of the big American breakfasts, so no matter how many times I try it, I still think I'm going to like it one day. "Are you saying I shouldn't try to help?"

"I'm saying she's smart and has reasons for what she does. Feel free to get a second opinion, but that's mine."

I nodded. She was right, but I just couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that Sydney was already gone again. She was like dry sand: warm and soft and constantly slipping away -grain by grain- until there's nothing left. Then, you had to scoop it up all over again.

"Now, I think the problem we should try to address while we can is Nina."

"I tried knocking on her door yesterday. Should I try again today?"

"I mean, something happened. I know it did, but you're coming back had to have made this harder for her. Have you two spoken?"

She was in the crowd when Sydney, my mom, and I were trying to get to guest housing. She was ringing her hands, like she always did, but I saw a glimpse of red on her palms, like she'd been using her nails. Somehow, I'd forgotten about the observation until then. "When was the last time you talked to her?"

"A few days ago."

"Did she seem okay? How much spirit has she been using?" I tried to bring the image of her hands to the top of my mind, but I couldn't quite remember it vividly, just the thought I had after. _Did she do that on purpose?_

"I'm not sure. She seemed okay, but we were working. I didn't have any reason to use more spirit than I needed to for auras."

Where was she now? Was the appointment a front? She hadn't called Sonya to say the same thing. It must have been a hasty excuse then, one not well thought out. That meant she was doing something else in that time.

I stood. "We should check on her."

"Adrian, is she okay? Do you think something might have happened?"

I didn't want to say it. It sounded too personal to tell anyone. But I had to check on her.

"Just c'mon. Please?"

She nodded and slipped into a pair of ballet flats nearby. Sonya was normally a pretty neat person, but at the smallest hint of danger, she wasn't opposed to leaving full bowls to get cold.

Nina's apartment was actually relatively close to Sonya's. The last time I'd gone anywhere from Sonya's, I was drunk, so it had seemed like a far walk. We reached the door in fifteen minutes. I knocked, loudly. It was late in the morning, and I doubted she'd be asleep.

We waited, in silence. I don't know what she was doing, but I was listening. For what? Movement. Breathing. Anything.

I heard nothing, and no one answered.

"What do you think is going on?" Sonya asked, positioning herself so she was almost in front of the door. I wondered if she was stopping me from knocking or feeling the eyes on her.

"I don't know, but she was upset the other day. She'd hurt herself, her hands."

She pulled her cell phone from her pocket, pressed a few buttons and handed it to me. "What are you-"

"It's ringing," she said. I put it to my ear. She put her ear to the door. The phone rang a few times before she said. "I can hear it in there."

_"__Hi. It's Nina. Please leave a message, and I'll call you as soon as I can."_

I hung up and hit redial. Maybe she was asleep. Maybe she'd stayed out last night. Maybe she forgot her phone when she left earlier. Maybe not.

It sent me to voice mail again, and I started to dial a third time, but Sonya took the phone back. "Are you sure she's not at work?"

I nodded. "And she wouldn't leave to go anywhere without her phone."

"She has to be in there."

"Nina!" I called. "Open the door. It's Adrian!"

But there was no answer. I'd done it again. I'd had the opportunity to fix something before it began right in front of me, and I missed it!

"Nina," Sonya called in, "Are you there?"

"Should we just go in?"

"I'm not sure. We should call a friend of hers or something to make sure she's not just-"

This was stressing me out too much though. I pushed past her and tried to open the door. It was locked. "Do you have a paper clip or something I could pick the lock with?"

"We can't break and enter."

I turned to her. "She's a spirit user who'd just hurt herself, and no one's heard from her in twenty four hours."

She reached into her pocket and handed over a hair pin. I knelt on the concrete and angled it in. The last time I picked a lock, I had to have been fourteen or fifteen, so it'd been a while, but eventually I heard a click.

I twisted the handle, and it gave.

The first thing I noticed was that the apartment smelled wrong. It smelled like leftovers that hadn't been cleaned up and, of all the things to make me panic in this situation, blood.

I glanced into the first doorway I walked past -the kitchen- and found that I was right about the first thing. The microwave door was slightly ajar. In front of it, a microwave pizza laid on a plate with one tentative bite taken from a corner.

The living room was scattered with papers. Looking closer, I saw there was pages of writing on them, letters it looked like. I didn't dare read them though.

The bedroom was covered in clothes and a notebook, empty of all it's paper, laid open on the bed. I felt like I was walking a crime scene.

"Adrian," Sonya said, behind me. "This door's locked." I turned and saw she was standing in front of the bathroom. I went over there and checked the knob myself. She was right. I knelt and started fiddling with the pin again.

"_no..._" a quiet voice said inside, hoarse and defeated. I got it unlocked and opened the door.

Nina was dressed in the same clothes I'd last seen her. She laid in the bathtub with both hands out in front of her, limp and covered in fresh, crescent marks, some scabs, some still glistening with the dampness of her own blood. Her hair was damp like she'd been crying, or maybe she'd turned the water on at some point. Her eyes were closed, and her face was white.

"_go away..._"

"Nina." I knelt again next to the bath and touched her shoulder. I didn't want to move her. "What are you doing?"

"I said go away..." Her voice was very slightly louder this time. She was really trying to get the words out.

"How long have you been in here? C'mon. Let's get you into your bed. Or at least the couch." I glanced back at Sonya with a signal to help me. She came in, pale faced, and knelt beside me.

"Nina, why are you in here?"

She didn't answer. She didn't move. I pulled some of the matted hair from her face. My fingers came away slightly pink. "Please, just come into the other room. We'll take this one step at a time. Do you need help?"

Nina stayed silent and unmoving. I reached around to the shoulder that rested on the shower mat, wedged my hand under, and nudged her. She didn't help, but I pulled anyway. Sonya helped me get her into a sitting position.

"Nina," Sonya said, both strict and calming. "Open your eyes."

She shook her head, slowly, and faced her head down. "No. No, I can't."

"Please?" I said.

She shook her head again and turned her body away from us. Sonya took her hand.

"What can we do? We want to help."

"Go away."

"No," I told her. The answer was probably too blunt, but I wasn't going to go anywhere with her like this, and she needed to understand that.

I stood and took a folded washcloth from beside the sink. Nina gasped when I turned the water on. Water hit my hand until it warmed, and I put the cloth underneath.

"We've got to clean your hands," I told her, and knelt again. "Let me see them."

She didn't move.

Sonya reached in and put her hand over Nina's. She didn't put any pressure on her, just wrapped her fingers around Nina's and rubbed her thumb back and forth on the smooth back where there was no blood. "What will make this easier for you?"

She turned her face into the acrylic ground. "Go away."

"Who?" Sonya asked.

That struck me as a strange question the moment she asked it, but it clicked a second later. In the same way I'd much rather talk to, say, Sydney than maybe my Mom, Nina also had preferences.

"Adrian," she said.

I wasn't one of them.

I handed Sonya the washcloth. She smiled mournfully toward me before I left, but I wasn't in the mood for sympathy.

Feeling utterly useless, I closed the door behind me and went to the kitchen to wash that plate.

**Do you guys like these longer chapters I've been doing in this fic? I've only recently started being able to write in this way, and I'm wondering what you guys think.**

**Review Corner:**

**Leia 96: Thanks! Yeah, I felt bad for Rose when I wrote this chapter. She hates feeling useless and hates being kept in the dark more!  
Lol, imagine if it was just a coincidence though? Haha, that'd be great! Just a reminder that I didn't work on that fic alone though. I was working with randomgirl1385 on plotting, and she also edited the chapters.**

**DG and Reed: Oh. You _didn't _want that? I may have misread your comment :P  
Did you read the summery? I think that answers your second point...**

**Charmed Ivashkov: I don't think Carlton will be a setting in this story. I did mention that her semester had ended. Though I will say Renee does come back in a future chapter... I love her character! She was in Dancing on the Edge too (another fanfiction that I wrote with randomgirl1385)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own Richelle Mead's world or characters.**

Chapter Ten

Sydney

I paced.

Normally, Adrian was the antsy one, but after all I'd gone through, I was starting to outdo him sometimes, which was almost more frightening than waking up in the middle of the night and not being sure if you were or were not dreaming.

"Sydney, Calm down," Ms. Terwilliger said. "Sit. Eat something."

"We need to get this done!" I said.

"I know, but pacing won't do any good."

Someone knocked, and I ran to get it.

I pulled open the door. Before I could even process who I was looking at, they grabbed me and pulled me up off the ground. For a second, I panicked; it had to be an alchemist! They were going to take me back.

"Sydney!" Eddie said. "You've got to stop disappearing on everyone!"

"Hi," I said, trying to stop my heart from pounding. "Can you put me down?"

He let me drop to my feet. "Sorry. Last time I saw you, you were barely standing. It's so good to see you being _you _again."

I lent him a tight smile and stepped back into the house. "What did you bring?"

He pulled a Ziploc bag from his pocket and held it out to me. "Angeline had to be stealthy to get this out of there." A strand of Jill's hair, long and forming loopy-loops, rested on the bottom of the bag.

"Thanks," I said and took it.

"Not a _Angeline was stealthy? _Or something like that?" He frowned, but he didn't look disappointed exactly, just concerned.

"Eddie, we're in the middle of a crisis."

Ms. Terwilliger had come over from the couch by then and stood beside me. "I'm not sure I can imagine Angeline being quiet, let alone stealthy."

"She wasn't. She broke the window."

Ms. T laughed, but I'd already turned away and was heading for the room of supplies. Eddie followed me in. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to find Jill." I already had everything else I needed set on the table. I was ready.

"I'm going to get something from the kitchen for you," Ms. Terwilliger said. I didn't say I didn't want it. Maybe I would, but I doubted that.

"Eddie, can you wait in the other room? I don't want to get distracted." And I didn't want him to see it fail if it did.

Earlier in the day is when I mixed the different things needed to do the spell, but I still had the hard part ahead. I sat on the stool behind the table and stared into the plate, but nothing showed up. It just stayed as it was. I did exactly as I remembered to, and kept staring, focusing on Jill. I needed to find Jill. I needed to find her.

I forced myself to stay focused and still. I knew I needed to not just focus on my needing to find her, but Jill herself. I imagined what she looked like, sounded like, smelled like. I replayed moment after moment of us together.

A dark fog clouded the water. I tried hard to see through it, but it didn't clear.

Dizzy, I braced my hands on the table, but I didn't let up. If this didn't work, I couldn't do the scrying spell. Only a virgin could do that, and that was no longer me.

"Sydney, hey." Ms. Terwilliger put her hand over my wrist. Her fingers were a startling cold. "Stop. If it's not working, stop."

"It has to," I said.

"If it's not working now, it's not going to."

I let the force drop and the extent of my dizziness hit me. I hadn't done serious magic like this in a long time.

Ms. Terwilliger noticed and put her hand on my upper arm now to steady me. "Sydney, eat."

I closed my eyes. The vertigo was terrible.

"Please."

At the sound of thin plastic sliding along the table, I opened my eyes. The whole room seemed to rock. In the moment, I didn't even think about the fact that what I was about to eat was processed chocolate cookies. I just did.

It helped a little, and she pushed a glass of apple juice into my hands next.

"Better?" she asked.

"Yeah. Much." I straightened my collar. "But if that didn't work, what are we going to do?"

She thought for a second. "We could do the scrying spell."

"No... I, uh..." I did not want to say this. "I can't anymore."

"Ah." She looked amused. "I do know one other person who might be able to."

"Really?" I hadn't seen anyone nearly as young as me, besides Alicia, but of course she wasn't who Ms. T was thinking of. Maybe they were a friend who didn't want to give up those spells.

"I'll go call them. And will you please wait a minute before you start pacing again? It's making _me _nervous."

I nodded and she left.

Eddie came in a second later. Maybe he'd heard what was happening or maybe he just sensed it, but he didn't look hopeful. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, despite the slight headache I was getting. I tugged at my shirt collar. "I couldn't see anything."

"I know. I'm sorry."

Sorry? "No, it's me who should apologize. I thought I could find her, and I- I thought Alicia would make it easy. It's supposed to be a trap, right?"

"But you found her before, when she was making it hard."

"And she had enough time to inflict a lot of damage."

He nodded. "But it won't take too long, will it?"

"I don't know. It matters. When's the next full moon."

Turned out, it was two days later.

"Rose keeps texting me," Eddie said, coming in without knocking. "She wants updates."

I handed him the water I knew he was going to ask for and went back to staring at the granite of the kitchen counter. "I told her two days."

"You didn't know it was going to be hard." He cracked open the bottle. "And who would make this difficult? Why? She wants you, right?"

"She wants me to see Jill suffering. It doesn't work if it's only been twenty minutes."

He sipped, barely tipping the water back. "Well, let's just hope she realizes she's got a vampire on her hands. Jill won't do anything, obviously, but it's certainly going to take a tole on her."

"I wish she knew she had a princess on her hands. I don't think she wants to get mixed up in politics. She just wants me dead."

He snorted. "Just."

"Is the sun down yet?" I really wanted this to be over with. The longer we had to wait, the more time I had to think about what I was going to do and the more time Jill was alone with Alicia.

"Almost. Ms. T told that girl to be here when?"

Ms. Terwilliger came in from her bedroom carrying a mirror. "Dusk."

"How specific," I muttered.

Eddie laughed. "You're so grumpy when you're impatient." I gave him a look, and he sobered. "Did you sleep?"

He'd left in the very early morning after he'd finally accepted he wasn't going to get me to stop reading half Ms. T's spell book library. Even after he'd left, I'd spent another hour or so cross-legged on the living room floor, batting cats away from the pages.

"Yeah. Eventually I did."

"For how long?"

I rubbed the center of my forehead. "A few hours?"

Ms. T leaned the mirror against a wall. "Not enough. I told her to sleep more, and she wouldn't listen. You're going to need your energy at it's peek."

She was right, but I wasn't going to be able to sleep with Jill out there.

A knock sounded from the living room, and I jumped to get it. The door opened to reveal a girl only an inch or two taller than me with nervous, dark blue eyes and slightly wavy, dark brown hair.

"Hi," she said. "I'm Renee Roveri."

Ms. Terwilliger hurried in, probably having finally balanced the mirror, and opened the door the rest of the way. "Hello. I'm Jaclyn Terwilliger."

I glanced at her, unsure. Renee had to be around eighteen, and I'd been told time and time again that I was exceptionally good for my age. Even then, this spell was a hard one.

My comfort level wasn't helped by the fact that her hair was the exact same color as Jill's.

"Oh, come on, Sydney," Ms. T said, "You're my student. I can't let _you _call me Jaclyn."

"That's not what I'm thinking about," I told her.

Renee came in, her hands clasped at her waist. I noticed she had a brown, over the shoulder purse hanging from her right side. "I hope it's okay I brought my spell book I didn't know if it would be useful."

Ms. T waved it off. "Not particularly, but no harm done."

"My mentor told me basically what I was going to have to do, and I thought, um," She opened her bag and started wrestling a book out. "I thought my sketchbook might be helpful?"

"Oh." I could hear Ms. T's approval before she said anything else. "Very good! Great idea. Okay, have you done this before?"

Renee shook her head. "No."

Of course she hadn't. "Have you done anything like it before?" This had to work. It had to.

"Not really. I mean, I've never really had to, so it hasn't come up."

Oh god, this better work. I turned, desperate, to Ms. Terwilliger. She practically dragged my toward the kitchen. "Sydney, could you get that mirror please?"

"Sure." I went in and lifted the mirror a few inches off the ground. It was heavier than it looked.

Or, I realized, it could be that I hadn't had to carry anything heavy in four months, and that I hadn't slept much recently. I struggled to get the mirror into a position where I could put most of the weight on a leg as I walked.

I felt the back lift, and I looked back. Eddie waved at me with his free hand, and motioned for me to keep going.

"You don't have to help me," I said, automatically.

Without hesitation, he responded, "Yes I do."

I knew I wouldn't win this argument, so I just let him support the back with one hand as he did. As long as he didn't take it completely from me.

Ms. T was pulling different leaves and flowers from a few bags and piling them in a bowl. Renee was holding her sketchbook against her chest and watching anxiously. Eddie helped me ease the mirror to the ground.

"How long have you been drawing?" Eddie asked her. "Can I see?"

She handed over the sketchbook. "I've always liked to draw. I actually just finished my first year at art school."

"Really?" He flipped open the book. "Wow. Sydney, look at this." He held it out to me, and I took it.

"Oh be careful with that one! I did it in charcoal. It smudges."

I almost dropped it. The drawing was of a model in different positions, and of course I hadn't seen the pictures before, but I'd seen the model.

"Do you go to Carlton?" I asked. I remembered the man on the plane said his granddaughter was here for art school. I couldn't remember her name, but he'd said she'd stayed with her mentor for a while. This had to be her.

"Yeah. How'd you know that?"

I flipped through a few more pages. "My boyfriend went there. Maybe you were I the same class? It's definitely the same model." I glanced up at Renee who looked surprised. "What? Is that strange?"

"You can tell it's the same model?"

I nodded.

She smiled a little.

"Why is that important?"

She shrugged a little and looked down. "I didn't think my sketches were distinguishable at all."

Eddie laughed. "No, _mine _wouldn't be distinguishable. I can't draw a stick figure."

"I'm sure you could," she assured him. "I don't know. Are they really good?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"Thanks."

"Okay," Ms. T said. "I think we've got everything set up. Renee, are your ready?"

**Review Corner:**

**Charmed Ivashkov: I know, I know... We'll see more of Nina in the next chapter. It's (kind of) okay... And about the email? There's a reason things are written... I wouldn't say it if it wasn't important.**

**Nira Avalon: Thanks so much! :D**

**DG and Reed: You're scared already? But the fun has barely started!**

**Cea: I don't know if you kept reading or if you just read (therefor just reviewed) chapter one, but if you are here, I'm not really sure. As far as I know, he won't be in here, although that could change.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own Richelle Mead's world or characters.**

Chapter Eleven

Adrian

It took more effort than I'd ever expect not to kill Rose Hathaway when she got back to Court later that morning.

"You _let _her get on that plane?" I demanded.

She raised her hands as if giving in and snapped, "What was I supposed to do? Get on my knees and beg?"

"If that's what it _took_!" I ran my hand through my hair. "How could you just watch her go?"

She frowned. "You think I wanted to? I didn't. But you know she's smart. She'll get Jill back, just like she said. And she'll get herself back too. She promised."

I shook my head. Rose just didn't get it. "Do you know how the Alchemists got her?"

There was no one else in the parking lot. We could talk about this, but Rose still looked around like someone was going to hear. If someone did, and they knew about Alchemists, chaos could easily ensue.

"Rose. Do you know how they got Sydney?" She looked back at me.

"No. Because I wasn't there. As much as I want to say I helped out, I couldn't."

_She'll never understand, Adrian. Don't even try._

"That's not what I meant. I'm talking about Sydney and Eddie."

She nodded. "I know he was there."

"Yes. And he would have helped her until they shot him, which they were planning to. Sydney tricked him into separating from her, walked back to them, and let them take her. Do you really think she wouldn't do that for Jill? For you? She can lie, Rose. She can lie right to your face, and you'd probably never know."

"She wasn't."

"How do you know? How far would she go to keep as many people as possible safe? That includes you. If she thinks she can get Jill out without help, even if that costs her her life, she will!"

"Then here!" She tossed the car keys at me. "Go get her yourself, but you know her. If she thinks you're coming, she'll disappear. And if you do find her, you could mess up what she has planned."

_She's wrong. Go, Adrian._

I take the keys and go back to the car. Rose follows me.

"How are you going to afford plane tickets?"

"I'll climb in the cargo hold if I have to."

She laughed. "You're like a puppy. A stupid, stupid puppy."

I glared up at her and she just shook her head.

"You are! What are you going to do to help anyway? Dream the enemy to death?"

If only that was possible. "No. I can use telekinesis I'll find a weapon."

"Telekinesis? Since when can you use that consistently? I've heard of it happening once, and I've never seen it."

"Well I've used it twice."

"Twice? I heard about that time at the party -Lissa wants to have a conversation with you by the way- but you did it another time?"

I nod. "Yep. Good thing too or Sydney would have fallen into quite a few lilies."

"Is this a joke?" she said, her arms crossed. "Is this whole thing a _joke _to you? Of all the people... You're the one willing to spend whatever money you have on a wild goose chase after the woman you just _married, _and you still can't manage to keep serious? What's wrong with you?"

I frowned. "Well what am I supposed to do?"

_Listen, _Aunt Tatiana butted in. Uninvited as always.

"I don't know. Not that."

"If I stop for a second-" I cut myself off. I didn't want to think of the parties, the people of my past calling my room. They'd found my number, god knows where, and called the room again and again already. They all wanted the Adrian Ivashkov who brought the Alchemists down on the moroi at their two in the morning drinking party. And if I stopped for a second, I'd take them up on that offer.

"Adrian, you need to think about what your doing."

I got in the car.

"What are you going to do?"

"Update me on Nina. I want to know when she's okay again." Or when she's not, but I wasn't going to say that.

"What happened to Nina? Adrian, wait!" I had closed the door. She knocked on the window, and I rolled it down. "Let me come with you. I can help. More than you can."

"No one can know about this."

"Won't it be easier to keep that secret if I'm with you?"

She was right. And she would be an asset.

Unless she was coming to convince me Sydney was smart and could get out on her own. And I'm pretty sure I'd hit her if she said that again.

_She'll just distract you. You need to be focused._

I'd made my decision. I didn't need Aunt Tatiana to help. "No."

I pulled out.

It took until I broke down in the middle of the road to realize that this was a bad idea.

Of all the things, I was out of gas. I knew I could be stupid, but this was something I hadn't been stupid enough to put myself through in a long time. In a way, I wanted to blame Rose, but I hadn't exactly checked how full it was either.

Stranded a good twenty minute drive from Court -and probably a two hour walk- I also realized I hadn't brought a phone.

I sat in the car for a few minutes: taking in the scent of sweat and an empty, foam, coffee cup in the passenger seat cup-holder. For a wonderful second, I thought it must have been Sydney's, but the smell had a hint of caramel to it, not vanilla. Sydney had been in this car, but she hadn't left a single thing behind.

_Don't be so sentimental._

"Shut up!" I demanded. "I don't want to hear it right now!"

_But you're so lonely..._

"I don't _care_!" I pulled at my hair, wishing I could just pull her out. "You're not real!"

_I'm as real as you want me to be._

I got out of the car and slammed the door. That car was too much for me. I couldn't handle it.

_How will anyone find you if you're so far from the car? They'll be looking for the car._

In a way, I wanted them to find me, but I knew I'd never get to Sydney that way. I didn't know how long the walk would be, and I didn't care. I started toward the way I was going, hoping I'd come across somewhere where I could get a ride at some point.

There were no cars on the road as far as I could see, so I just started walking.

It was far past the time my feet started killing me, I actually was hoping someone would find me, which they eventually did.

The car pulled up next to me, and I recognized it immediately as Rose's. She stuck her head out the window. "Get in."

"Are we going to the airport?"

"My backseat driver wouldn't approve."

I looked in. Lissa was on the far side of the back seat, turned completely away from me. It was like being a little kid and finding your friend giving you the silent treatment.

"Lissa," I said.

"Get in, Adrian." Her voice was quiet and disappointed. I got in the passenger's seat and buckled in. Rose did a U turn and started heading back to court. The car was silent, which wasn't like Rose at all. If she wasn't talking, she was definitely going to have the radio on.

"I ran out of gas," I offered as a lame explanation.

"I figured," Rose said.

"Why didn't you tell me it was empty?"

"I would have if you let me come."

I kept glancing back to look at Lissa. She'd barely moved the entire ride. She just sat, ringing her hands, straight backed with her face turned as far away as she could manage. "Did you hear anything from Nina?" I asked.

"Yeah," Lissa answered.

I waited for her to say something else, but she didn't. "How is she?"

"Alive."

The way she said it, I knew I wasn't going to get anything else out of her. Rose had her lips pressed together so tightly, even her full lips looked thin. She knew just as well as I did that Lissa wasn't usually one to react this way. She would get angry, sure, but it would be outward. This was different.

I turned to my window and watched the trees pass by in a blur. I wanted to turn the car around myself or open the door with the car still moving and jump out like an action hero that I certainly was not. I wasn't any sort of hero. I couldn't even keep the one woman that I loved above everyone else safe.

Maybe I could find a ride once we got to Court. Maybe I could convince Lissa to send guardians after her. Something. Something had to be done.

_Nothing's going to work. They're always going to find you. They want her to get hurt. They don't want you to help her._

I'd been stupid to think leaving the car was going to make Aunt Tatiana shut up. I just ignored her.

"Liss..." I said, finally. We were pulling through the gates.

"Don't."

"I need to explain."

"No. No!" She turned to the front. It was the first time I'd seen her face today. Her eyes weren't angry. They were tired. "Adrian, this whole situation is bad. I get that you want to help her, but I can't have you running off and trying to do It yourself either. I need you to tell me these things. Look where being secretive has gotten us so far! We've got the entire Alchemist group after us, the most powerful human society that we've ever been affiliated with, and a majority of the people who've found out about this have been blaming _me. _We had to go deal with a riot this morning, and I came back to find you and Sydney missing, Nina having a complete breakdown, and _another _threat coming in, because apparently my sister going missing hasn't been enough." She gasped in a breath and let it out with a shudder. Her shoulders fell and she sank forward into her lap. Her hair fell into crisscrossing pools, and she shook. She pulled her hands behind the curtain of her blond locks and she held her breath for a second before sighing and laying her head on her knuckles. She'd hurt herself. It was the only way to relax that quickly. "I get it. You just want to make sure she's safe. But you need to approach it with your brain. _Think _before you do things."

"You too," I said. I tried to make it sound gentle, but I wasn't sure it worked. "Don't do that to yourself."

"I'm not doing anything." Her voice shook.

"Liss?" Rose was unsure. "Do you want me to pull over for a second? We don't have to go back yet."

"I'm _fine,_" she snapped, but a her eyes sparkled with tears.

_You're all fine... _Aunt Tatiana said. I could hear the wicked smile in her voice.

**Sorry I haven't been posting as much. As a treat though, I posted a story called "Rebels" that I'm using as a back story for two characters later in this fic. I was going to wait until they reappeared, but I figured I'd just post it now since you guys have been so patient with me...**

** s/10830952/1/Rebels**

**Review Corner:**

**Charmed Ivashkov: Thanks! Sorry it was a little confusing. I was referencing the scrying spell used in... I think the beginning of TFH? Or somewhere in TIS... Sorry. Don't have them here currenly. You're so sweet though! Thanks!**

**DG and Reed: Eddie better miss Jill, or I'm going to be very angry! YES! THE ANSWER IS YES!**

**Yolyami: Thanks so much for reviewing. I've read what you said, and I appreciate the constructive criticism. I'm trying to be careful, and also trying to update often, which is difficult. The microsoft thing I actually didn't think about. I'm not into computers, so it didn't occur to me, but thanks for pointing it out! And the email does seem a little too obvious in hindsight... But I was kind of going off the thought that a few emails always show up when you get a new email saying WELCOME NAME-HERE TO YOUR NEW EMAIL! or something like that, so... I should stop writing at 1am is the moral of that story :)**


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